English Majors 2008

I stumbled on this picture that Alex posted on Facebook just recently (The lighting is "kinda" bad though so I better deal with that). Anyway, I think it's high time that I give a rundown of what we have been doing since this picture was taken. Here goes, from left to right:

Me, Paolo Bataller
After his one-year stint in Manila as a Marketing person for a regional company, Paolo is back in Davao hoping to pursue further studies in his alma mater later this year. He is currently plotting out his schemes as well as looking for a job to pay for his expenses.

Faith Go
After a horrendous first year in Ateneo de Davao Law School, Faith is at it again feverishly reading cases and studying the laws which run the (increasingly crappy) wheels of justice in the land. She is still a missionary at heart and looks forward to pursuing her other dreams in the future.

Melissa Penaflor
After being an out-of-school youth for half a year, Mel has finally found her calling as an editor for an international publishing company in Cebu. She has been missing in action for quite some time now in blogsphere, a sign that she is loving her work. No updates about her love life can be gleaned as of this moment.

Pamela Bitang
Fresh from Hong Kong, Pam is in hiatus here in Davao after her stint as an employee for a major cruise line. As reported, she will be back in Manila later this July to resume work. Meanwhile, she has been content in enjoying Davao's luxuries with her well-padded wallet.

Karlo Respicio
Karlo is currently stationed at the Davao International Airport as a baggage officer for a major airline player. He has expressed interest in pursuing further studies once his probationary status period has passed. He is also the colleague of Jason Magat, another English major from another batch.

Alexis Marfori
Alex is in Manila, working for an international BPO company. She is currently living in a posh condo with her sister, enjoying her graveyard shifts and coffee every now and then. She has said that Davao city is a more livable place but so far, that comment has not led to any concrete action.

Cielito Solon
The last time I heard where Cieng was, she was in Manila. I don't know now what she has been busy at lately.

Clarife Lozano
Clarife is currently working as a loans officer for a banking powerhouse. No news can be heard of the status of her sideline business. She is reportedly in a relationship, an important exception in a batch otherwise filled with single (and available!) English majors.

So there you go. As to where our plans will lead us, I don't know where. Godspeed to all of us guys!

Outside

(A short story)

Alberto was irritated. Once again, his mother reminded him and his siblings that they were never to set foot outside their home. This has been her ritual since time immemorial. What made him more annoyed was that his sibling did not share his feelings.

Alberto was the youngest in a family of twelve. All his sisters and brothers were already grown up. However, he could not comprehend why they would still follow their mother's reminder to never step out of their house.

"Kuya Boy, why do you still obey Mama?"

"Well, it is because I know mother is right. Outside our home, the world can be a very dangerous place. If we remain inside, we can all be safe."

"But who would want to stay in a place like this? It is dark and creepy. By the way, how do you know it is dangerous outside? You haven't even placed a single foot out of this home your entire life!"

Kuya Boy just patted Alberto's back and said, "Our house is not that bad. However, we must all believe in Mama. One day, you will understand."

Alberto was not satisfied with the answer. Yet what he said about their house was true, of course. Their house did not have any window, only wooden walls. In addition, these walls were moldy and flaking, with wood chipping off and littering the floor. What was even worse was that it was very dark and the air was damp, heavy and musty. He had trouble sleeping because he could not breathe properly.

Alberto grew with these misgivings. As days passed, he became more curious about the world outside. He began to ask himself, what would I see outside? Are there any wonders I have yet to see? What could possibly be the danger that Mama is always fond of warning us? Every moment, these questions fueled his desire to leave his home, a desire getting more intensified every time his mother warned them not to step foot outside.

One day, this desire bothered him so much that he decided to talk to his mother. He approached her, "Ma, you have been warning us not to leave the house. But why do you say so? What reason do you have for doing this?"

Alberto's mother just looked at him and began to cry softly, "Do you know what happened to your father?"

Alberto was speechless. Papa died before Alberto was even born. He never saw him, was never interested in asking about him.

Mama interrupted the long silence, "Your father left us a long time ago. He stepped outside and never came back. I tried to stop him. My parents, your lolo and lola, did the same thing and never returned. That is why I was so apprehensive with your father but he promised me that he would come back. He promised he would come back."

Afterwards, Mama broke down and could not continue talking. Guilt-stricken, Alberto embraced his mother and comforted her, promising her he would never do what his father did.

Despite his promise, Alberto's desire grew even stronger. He now wanted to find out what happened to his father and the only way he could do that was by breaking his promise to his mother.

Alberto woke up early one morning and headed for the entrance of their house. He glanced at his siblings and his mother, all sound asleep, and gave them a silent farewell. He finally braced himself with courage, closed his eyes and charged blindly through the entrance into the outside world.

He slowly opened his eyes and he was stunned by what he saw. It was so beautiful! Alberto saw the radiant sky, the bright sun and the shimmering clouds for the first time. He saw his first birds, magnificent creatures floating up in the sky. He also saw his first flowers, all glorious and colorful. He was so overwhelmed by what he saw that he began to cry for joy at what he had discovered. For Alberto, that day was the happiest day of his life.

It was also Alberto's last. As he stood ogling at the wonders of nature, he never saw the foot above him, ready to stomp him to death.

****

Manong Jun already had his day made. He laughed his triumphant laugh as he peered at the grisly remains of a cockroach underneath his slipper. For days, he had tried in vain to get his house rid of these pests. Finally, he had succeeded somehow and, with a chuckle, he swept the cockroach's carcass out to the door.

Note: This was my first story, a product of our Creative Writing class with Sir Don Pagusara last October 2006.

Creative Writing

Last night, my sister handed to me the envelope containing my short stories and poems. I remember I left the envelope with my mother prior to leaving for Manila last year. She had asked for a hard copy of my works for purposes of posterity.

Looking back, I feel lucky that she had asked and I complied. During the course of my stint in Manila, our computer's hard disk had crashed twice already. Right now, the envelope, and all its contents, are the only evidence I have of my past "genius" (Okay, save me the snickers and the giggles please).

What I will upload right now to this blog in the next few days are my earlier works back in college. I have four short stories and two poems. Some may be rough since they've not gone through revising and editing (I'm saying this so that my previous mentor and Creative Writing teacher, Sir Don Pagusara, won't disown me if he finds them not at par with his expectations - if he had any). Some have already gone through revisions but I don't know if the hard copies I gave to my mother are already the polished copies and not my initial drafts.

Needless to say, my collection of works is quite small, pathetic even. But I intend to be more productive this time. I'm in Davao now, remember?

Registering At The COMELEC

Finally, I'm a registered voter.

Last election, I didn't register myself because it slipped out of my mind. I didn't realize I had to until the last days (and we all know, in the last days of registration, COMELEC offices resemble miniature war zones, with mobs of angry people swarming the hapless COMELEC staff.). The end part: I didn't get to register because I never went to a COMELEC office (I did naively visit our Barangay office in the hopes that they would accept registrants. Obviously, they didn't). I pretty much would have regretted the whole thing though if I wasn't feeling so hopeless about the roster of candidates presented before the nation.

"But this time, it would be different", I said to myself yesterday morning. And off I marched to the COMELEC office in Magsaysay Park.

I actually tried registering myself three times before I eventually did. Last week, Thursday, I went to the COMELEC office only to find out it was closed. Then on Friday that same week, I went to NCCC Mall of Davao to register myself only to escape at the last minute because I had to meet a couple of friends in the afternoon. Then on Monday this week, I went to the office again and lost heart because there were lots of people who also thought that Monday is a good day to be registered.

Then yesterday, Thursday, was my lucky day. I arrived early in the office only to see a handful of people scribbling on application forms. I also met former Police Inspector Trejare (correct spelling?), a resigned policeman, who assisted me on what to do.

He and I talked a bit that morning because I blurted out I was an unemployed bum and he became excited and began inviting me to join the Philippine National Police Academy (Plus, my mentioning that I was a college graduate and had two cousins who are police officers only served to fuel the inspector's enthusiasm). Although I was headed for another career direction, I thoroughly enjoyed the inspector's speech as he expounded the benefits of being a member of the force. He mentioned the good pay and the chance to serve the country (He also flattered me by saying I could be a general. Now, that's something!).

I said to him I should probably think it over and asked where he was assigned before. He said that he was assigned chiefly in two places, Davao City and Manila. When I asked him why he didn't think of finally living in Manila and bringing along his family with him (Besides, that's a great way to be promoted especially when your superiors are Manila dwellers), he said Manila wasn't exactly a good place to start and raise a family. Life was hectic and traffic was a killer there. Davao city was still a better place (Amen!).

After our small chat, I busied myself waiting to be called while reading a book. Then I realized some things never change. Aside from death, long lines in government offices are indeed one of the greatest equalizers in this world. Whether one is rich or poor, elite class or just common folk, one was not exempt from standing in line and waiting to be called. No special treatment here (except of course for those who choose to wield their power to avoid discomfort).

Thankfully, the registration took me just half a day (as compared to 1-2 days in the NBI, NSO, and other what-nots). Sure, their process wasn't perfect but I sure do hope I see signs of improvement when I visit the COMELEC again.

See you all in the next year's elections.

The World Needs Men

As I was sifting through the trash, uh, treasures of my closet, I stumbled upon this relic from my past: a wooden plaque with something written on the sticker paper stuck on the front. If my memory serves me right, this was a graduation gift from a colleague of my mom back in high school. It reads:

The World Needs Men
...who cannot be bought;
...whose word is their bond;
...who put character above wealth;
...who possess opinions and a will;
...who are larger than their vocations;
...who do not hesitate to take chances;
...who will not lose their individuality in a crowd;
...who will be as honest in small things as in great things;
...who will make no compromise with wrong.
...who will not say they do it "because everybody else does it."
...who are true to their friends in adversity as well as in prosperity.
...who do not believe that shrewdness, cunning, and hardheadedness are the best qualities for winning success;
...who are not ashamed or afraid to stand for the truth when it is unpopular, who can say "no" with emphasis, although all the rest of the world says "yes".
...whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires.

...and every day, I try to be this man. Char.

YoungBlood Article

Ah, finally. It has come to pass. The "mania" has died down.

It has been more than a week since my Youngblood article was published in Philippine Daily Inquirer. As I've been telling everyone since, I didn't know it would be published that fast. What I thought was there was a 3-month waiting list before any article or feature gets published in the column.

Looking back, did I feel proud of myself? Actually, no. It turned out I was embarrassed of the whole episode since I foolishly assumed only a few in my company would be able to read what I submitted. That was because newspapers in the office miraculously vanish every morning, especially in the Fort Office (The only time I got to read the news then is when I have free time to surf the internet). But as it turned out, quite a lot of people heard about my article and were able to read it. I guess the embarrassment came from the fact that I had already moved on yet people were still reading this piece of very personal literature written by "someone" who was feeling sentimental about going away.

But still, I have no regrets. In addition, I thank all those who have commended me for my piece as well as the many who have chosen not to voice out their objections and comments against it. I also thank Clinton for prodding me to join this "Who Gets To Be Published First In YoungBlood" contest in which I was the only contestant (Bummer).

I also thank the Philippine Daily Inquirer for publishing this work. Although I can't say that I'm already a fan of the editor who revised this (Yes, some parts turned out better after certain revisions but I was aiming for a "Jun Jesena"-type of piece, with all the fragments interspersed all over), I still am grateful that this went out.

Here is the link to the article online. As for the original draft, I'm still looking for it.

To close this post, during our dinner last Saturday, Sir Dominique wondered aloud why most articles of Youngblood are negative in tone (read: brooding, morose, tearjerkers, "emo" etc.) when we Filipinos are in fact a very happy and joyous lot. I remember I was taken aback by that comment. So now, I resolve to be more happy in my next write-ups. The world does need clowns after all. And some laughs too.

Boat Ride

Last week, one of my wishes came true: I finally rode on a ship bound for Davao. Alone.

My reasons were simple. First, it was cheap compared to riding an airplane. Second, riding a ship can give me time to be alone so I could think things over and reflect. Third, I had never done this before since the last time I rode a ship, I was with my father, my grandma, and my sister.

Before I go into the details, I must first thank my "compound" mates for understanding and supporting my decision. If this were a movie, Clinton would be at the top of the billing. Not only did he share his personal experience of a boat sinking (he was one of the survivors of Superferry 14), he further stimulated my enthusiasm by giving me instructions on how to abandon ship (which, thankfully, I didn't have to use).

So I was off. After saying goodbye to Andrew, Lea, Ryan, Pansit, Roda and Clinton at the port (I didn't do an Alfie! Bwahahaha!), I was off to Gate 3 for boarding.

When I found out where my bunk was, I then realized I made a mistake. Andrew cautioned me against choosing the aircon version of the economy class because the smell can be intolerable at times. It turned out I did choose that kind of accommodation.

After lifting my luggage onto my bunk ( The lady at the ticket center said there were no lower bunks left for me), I thought things over as to how I got it wrong. I remembered asking the ticket center lady for an aircon accommodation and after seeing the name of the accommodation ( "Megavalue". Sounds neat.), I thought I would go for it. Well, there goes my ignorance.

So there I was lying down, cramped with my bags on one side of the bed. My bunk was near the men's CR and so the air around me either smelled of urea or smelly shoes. Thankfully, there were many upper bunks away from the washroom which were not taken. So I slept on one which was away from the stench yet still gave me a clear view of my belongings from afar.

By Sunday, I've practically toured the entire ship. And, after all these years, I still clung onto my past favorite: the sun deck. Every thirty minutes, I would climb up onto the deck just to feel the ocean wind and stare at the vastness of the sea. I was on vacation, after all.

The food though left much to be desired. Gone was the complimentary soup in the meals and the newly-washed utensils still harbored bits of rice from its previous owners. But I still have to be thankful since every meal did indeed keep me satiated.

As for my bunk neighbors, I didn't mingle with them much. Occupying the bunk under mine was a woman in her early forties who was bound for Gensan. She was silent, occasionally engaging in a conversation with the man across us. The man across us was, gleaning from his talks, a recently resigned person from an agency. He kept talking about how dangerous his hometown is (and also about the security guard in their agency who was sexually harassing women. I would like to have a word with this guard). There were also two mothers sleeping on bunks adjacent to us. They each had a son and, for the remainder of the trip, their sons were the best of friends, engaging in fantasy duels with each other and causing quite a ruckus everywhere they went.

One mother was married but the other was apparently single but with the boy and a baby. On the first day of the trip (Sunday), the man across me kept talking to this single mother about anything under the sun. On the second day (Monday), I was surprised because the man was already carrying around the mother's baby, cradling the child to sleep! The last time I saw them both, the man was helping out the single mother with her luggage since there were both dropping off at Gensan. A budding romance, perhaps?

On Tuesday early morning, I dropped off at the Sasa wharf. Great, I was finally in Davao. I was riding the Blue Taxi (Yes. There is now a Blue Taxi in Davao City) going home when an incident happened in front of the Davao Medical Center. There was a crowd gathering around an SUV with a handcuffed man, dirty and somewhat bloodied, standing on it. As we passed by, the man jumped onto the taxi's roof and a police chase ensued after the man fell off our roof. The taxi driver wasn't relieved however because his roof was damaged (He kept saying his top line was in jeopardy). I wondered then if this was an omen but I didn't pursue that thought.

One question: Did I like my Boat Ride? Yes, in a way, but I also have to admit that doing nothing, other than writing letters, made me somewhat antsy during the trip. I guess that will probably be the first and the last time I'll ride a ship alone.

My Status So Far

Yeah. It's been a long time coming since I last posted in this blog.

My vacation/post-resignation hiatus officially ended last Saturday, June 20, 2009 (because that's what I told myself). Since then, I've been busy cleaning up my emails, taking down a list of all websites I've registered myself into (since I keep forgetting my passwords), drawing out plans and future projects, and, yes, changing my blog template.

My current occupation now is finding a home-based job so I can start contributing to my family's income as well as keep myself busy. I also intend to go back to school this second semester so that's something I should look forward to. Other than that, I plan to register myself as a voter this week.

I've also laid out my commitments. For instance, I've already thought up an exercise regimen because my love handles are getting bigger already. I'm also going back to my arnis training and I plan to write in my blog more frequently this time. Last, I've decided to be more serious about network marketing and about my desire to organize a support group for young people, like me, bent on starting a business.

So that's it. Better to put all this in writing, and in public, so I don't forget.

Text Messages 6

Inbox getting clogged...

Very wise words: "Do not ask the Lord to guide your steps if you are not willing to move your feet"... Success is a journey! Good morning. God bless.
Jeff De Leon, June 17, 2009

We always want to take the easy way out because we are scared, and we are scared because if we try and fail, there is no one but us to blame...But let me tell you this: "Life is scary, get used to it!" There are no magical fixes, it's all up to you. So get up your feet and start doing the work and if it is too hard for you to take, just remember: "Breastmilk is still best for babies up to two years."
Edwin Gutierrez, June 15, 2009

If ever I'll be gone tomorrow, I hope you won't forget the things I did for you even if it's not enough to satisfy you. I just want you to know that in every single thing I did, I've been a true person to you.
Ate Cathy, June 14, 2009

Closeness doesn't come when you're together. It comes when you're apart and realize that despite not seeing, you never stop remembering.
Mary Ann Andicoy, June 14, 2009

Buta ug libat nagsumbagay.
Buta: Hoy, libat! Gawas dira! Ayaw pagtago-tago sa ngitngit!
Libat: In your dreams! Ngano gud tawong mugawas ko? Duha mo kabuok! Alkansi ko!
Rogelyn Donor, June 12, 2009

Banat ng Nabasted: "Matalino ka diba? Bat di mo ko masagot-sagot?"
Banat ng Matalino: "Matalino nga ako at alam kong hindi ikaw ang sagot."
Rogelyn Donor, June 10, 2009

Fastfood crew: Ano po order niyo?
Man: 1 large burger and large softdrinks.
Crew: Dito po ba ninyo kakainin?
Man: Pwede ba sa table na lang? Nakakahiya kasi may nakapila eh.
Rogelyn Donor, June 10, 2009

I know that there's a big chance that people don't like me. However, there's an even bigger chance that I don't care. Amping
Ate Cathy, June 10, 2009

Do you know why devils are so admired? It's because they know how to fight even though they are doomed to fall. Have a nice day ahead of you. Good morning!
Rogelyn Donor, June 10, 2009

Thank you for stepping into my life and being nice and good to me. Hoping what we have started will not change as time goes by. "No goodbyes."
Ate Cathy, June 9, 2009

He said: "You weren't supposed to mean this much to me but you do."
She said: "I know and I wasn't supposed to fall in love but I did."
I said: "Excuse me? Pwede ko mu-agi?"
Edwin Gutierrez, June 8, 2009

One of the simplest ways to stay happy is by just letting go of the things that make you sad. Enjoy life!
Ate Cathy, June 7, 2009

"To wake up each morning, healthy and at peace is a gift from God more precious than Gold. May all your mornings be filled with God's gifts! Have a great day!"
Mary Ann Andicoy, June 7, 2009

I never planned to meet you . I never expected knowing you either. But it's just a nice thing that expectations exist, because I never expected that you will be one of the few persons that I'll call a FRIEND.
Cathy, June 6, 2009

Allow yourself to have time to be lazy and unproductive. Rest isn't a luxury but a necessity. - An inspiring message from Juan Tamad.
Edwin Gutierrez, June 6, 2009

When he/she hug you, i-lips to lips dayun! Hehe. Dili bitaw uy. Never be the first to let go...because you'll never know, it could be your last.
Edwin Gutierrez, June 5, 2009

Two priests went to Bora for a vacation. They wore trunks so they can fit in. While sunbathing, a very sexy girl in T-back bikini walked by.
Girl: Hi Fathers (The priests were amazed).
The next day, they changed outfits and the same girl greeted them again.
Priests: How did you know we are priests?
Girl: Hellooww?! Father naman, it's me, Sister Agnes po!
Edwin Gutierrez, June 5, 2009

The things you see may not be the things you need. The one you want may not be the one for you. But whatever happens, you can be sure that the one who sent this, appreciates the whole you!
Ate Cathy, June 4, 2009

Never change your originality for the sake of others. Because in this world, no one can play your role better than you. So be yourself and win the world.
Ate Cathy, June 3, 2009

May isang pangit na lalake na humiling sa fairy.
Fairy: Anong inyong kahilingan ginoo?
Pangit: May mapa dito ng Amerika, dalhin mo ako dun para matagpuan ko babae ng buhay ko.
Fairy: Hindi pwede! Dito lang sa Pilipinas gumagana powers ko.
Pangit: Oh sige. Maging mortal na babae ka na lang sana at pakasalan mo ako.
Fairy: Patingin nga ulit ng bwisit na mapang yan at baka magawan natin ng paraan.
Edwin Gutierrez, June 3, 2009

Things to do when bored:
1.) Lanlana ang kape
2.) Sukda ang lote sa balay pila ka dangaw
3.) Pun-ag tubig ang inidoro
4.) Bulaga ang ingredients sa 3 in 1.
Ate Cathy, May 27, 2009

"Do not do unto others what you don't want others do unto you."
Tagalog version: "Huwag kayong ganyan, kung ganyan kayo, huwag ganon!"
Edwin Gutierrez, May 26, 2009

Sad story: They were bestfriends since kids. Diane kept her love for Enzo. Years passed, they parted ways and stopped communicating but Diane still hopes Enzo will come back. She received a message: "Diane, I have a suprise, I'm coming back! Love and kisses, Enzo." She waited at the airport but he didn't arrive! A sexy lady walked in front of her and said: Hi. I'm Samantha. I have bad news regarding Enzo. Tears fell from Diane's eyes! But the lady smiled, "Gaga! It's me, Enzo! Gwapa nako dai! Oresan na taka!"
Edwin Gutierrez, May 24, 2009

Boy: Musta?
Girl: Ok lang! Ikaw?
Boy: K ra pud! Hehehe...
Girl: Hehehe...
Sa Smart/TNT Unlitxt, walang kwenta ang usapan!
Edwin Gutierrez, May 24, 2009

Rejection

So this is how it feels again, getting rejected.

Not to worry, my heart is still not broken. It's just that the other night, my colleagues and I were off to Makati Med since Kuya Edsel, a housemate, was finally diagnosed of dengue (he waited for 3 days for the results). We were supposed to donate blood for him in case of any eventualities but I couldn't.

Why, you say? Well, that's because, according to the intern (more on her later), my White Blood Cell count was high, implying that I may have an infection, an incoming sickness, or I may be simply tired and stressed. Either way, I wasn't allowed to be a donor because I wasn't healthy at that time.

(Now, this is ranting. Don't consider this as part of the post) I also felt "violated" because of what the intern did. She just de-virginized my right arm (Translate to "stuck a needle") by insisting that a blood sample should be taken from my right (because she would draw blood from my left). Although this may sound trivial, I didn't like the fact that she did it forcefully (she sounded pissed off when I objected) and she was breaking a self-made tradition (No needles on my strong arm. Ever. Except for life-threatening situations demanding the non-observance of absurd rules).

So there I was, a blood donor for anonymous people, who couldn't donate blood to someone he knows personally. The irony says it all.

After that, I felt slightly depressed. I couldn't help Kuya Edsel that night. I felt helpless. And, honestly, feeling helpless is the worst feeling ever.

Hopefully, by next week, I can get over this incident. Peace out, everyone.

The Contest

Ah finally, a new goal just came up.

I was walking home yesterday with a housemate/colleague of mine and we drifted towards talking about our compensation. The next thing we know, we thought up this contest between the two of us.

The contest is about who will get the biggest monthly paycheck after two years (or, to be more technical, after June 5, 2011). Because of my pride, I gladly accepted the challenge and besides, it fits well with the vision I have in mind.

My colleague probably had the guts to start this contest (or was that me?) because he had something valuable. He was a BASIS SAP consultant and professionals like him, who also possess the same kind of expertise and knowledge, were paid extremely well; salaries for SAP consultants can go sky-high because these consultants are a rare breed.

As for me, I have nothing special to speak of: no special knowledge, skills or anything that is uniquely mine. But I do have (or I wish to have) an entrepreneurial spirit and I hope this will be enough to win this contest.

Clearly, I'm the underdog here. But what's to stop me from still competing? After all, the only prize we get are bragging rights. I guess that's a small price to pay for a bruised ego.

But then again, who said I won't win?

Text Messages 5

Tanong pang beauty contest:
"Kung ikaw ay maganda...

...sinong may sabi at saan daw banda?"
Hahahaha! Bastusan!
Edwin Gutierrez, May 18, 2009

Juan: Psst. Hoy Dro, unsay answer sa no. 3? Old McDonald had a ____? Dog to noh?
Pedro: Bugo-a nimo oi! Farm oi!
Juan: Sakto, unsa pud ang spelling
Pedro: E-I-E-I-O
Edwin Gutierrez, May 18, 2009

"Oplan Tuli"
Nanay: Nak, sakit imo tuli?
Anak: Dili man ma.
Nanay: Why man hilak ka?
Anak: Akoa oten gitatoo-an man gud ug "Through the Initiative of Boy Nograles"
Edwin Gutierrez, May 18, 2009

Pulis: Bakit mo tinapon ang batang alaga mo?
Yaya: Utos ng amo ko sir!
Pulis: Inutos sa iyo?
Yaya: Opo. Sabi po kasi niya: "Kung wala nang Pampers, Huggies mo na lang."
Edwin Gutierrez, May 18, 2009

Sa botika:
Lalaki: Day, isa gani ka condom.
Saleslady: Size sir!
Lalaki: (Nag-blush) Small lang miss.
Saleslady: Hindi sir ah! Size pesos ang usa!
Rogelyn Donor, May 19, 2009

Life may lead us to different roads: meeting new people and learning new things.But one thing is for sure. I will never forget the road where I met you.Thanks for being there. Good night.
Ate Cathy, May 19, 2009

Juan: Murag naa kay nakalimtan karong adlawa ah.
Pedro: Ngano di ay, brad? Unsay okasyon?
Juan: Ana ka!
Pedro: Aw. Manluod man dayon. Happy Monthsary...
Rogelyn Donor, May 20, 2009

It is a stupid feeling when you are so desperate to ask a simple question and yet your heart is too damn scared to know the answer. Example: Ma'am, pasar ko?
Rogelyn Donor, May 20, 2009

Your future depends on your dreams...

...so, tulog lang! Magtatagumpay ka rin!
Mama, May 20, 2009

Life is a one way street; no matter how many doors you take, none of them leads back; so enjoy every moment of your life because none of them will happen the same way again. Good eve.
Rogelyn Donor, May 22, 2009

Text Messages 4

Just a thought: Why waste your life on too much sleep when you can have enough of it when you die? In short, BANGON NAh. Haha! Maayong buntag! Go MANNY!
Edwin Gutierrez, May 3, 2009
Sent during the day of the Hatton-Paquiao fight

A girl was caught by her mom cutting classes:
Mom: (Gisapak ang anak) Pak!
Anak: Why did you slap me!
Mom: I'm doing this because I love you!
Anak: (Gisapak ang mama) Pak! Pak!
Mom: How dare you slap me!
Anak: I just wanted to say I love you too!
Edwin Gutierrez, May 3, 2009

When you're up, your friends know who you are. But when you're down, you know who your friends are. A proven fact.
Edwin Gutierrez, May 3, 2009

(Mar Roxas, nakasakay sa sidecar)
Boy: "...ganito buhay sa amin, walang makain, walang pambili ng gamot..."
Mar: "Anak, itabi mo...

...Lagpas na ako!"
Hahaha!
Karlo Respicio, May 6, 2009

It's not the effort that makes a girl smile. It's the willingness of the guy to go through the effort of doing crazy things just to see her...Good day!
Rogelyn Donor, May 11, 2009

The purpose of Life is not just to live, but to have something worthwhile to live for. We only live once but if we live right, once would be enough.
Mary Anne Andicoy, May 15, 2009

Boy: Di na madayon atong kasal.
Girl: Ngano man!?
Boy: Imong kuya man gud...
Girl: Di noh! Nagustuhan gani ka ni kuya...
Boy: Mao gani, naka-like sad ko niya.
Edwin Gutierrez, May 18, 2009

Congrats. Your sim number won (Php 950,000.00) 2nd Prize winner. Draw last May 16, 2009. From: PGMA. Please call me now. I'm Attorney Tirzo M. Zulleta. Auditor of Charity Foundation
+639098738532, May 18, 2009
Figured out this was a scam (so don't worry about me)

Pedro: Pare, nakalimutan mo na bang may utang ka sa akin na Php 800?
Juan: Hindi pa Pare, pero bigyan mo pa ako ng konting panahon at...

makakalimutan ko rin yun.
Edwin Gutierrez, May 18, 2009

Bana: Day, kung unsay mahitabo human sa operasyon, ayaw pasagdi atong mga anak ha?I love you, Day.
Wife: Hilum diha. Ka OA nimo. Walay pay namatay sa tuli, pisota ka.
Edwin Gutierrez, May 18, 2009