Just a mini-revelation from a surprising source.
I stumbled upon the book, What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us by Danielle Crittenden. As a brief background, the book talks about the issues confronting the women of today and how feminism, despite its successes, has also failed "womanity" (Whow. I can't believe I just coined that word) in another aspect.
I can't do justice to the book itself but I hope a short rundown will temporarily suffice. The book homes in on a critical question: why is it that, in this time when women are ever more free to actualize themselves, happiness continues to delude most of them? The author then discusses in length some areas in the modern woman's life which requires re-examination.
One thing that got me interested in the book was how feminism simultaneously liberated women from the clutches of patriarchy while subjugating another generation to the values commonly associated with male stereotypes. Women have, in fact, become free but that freedom had also allowed women to become like "men" in a sense that women are now risking losing their authenticity pursuing ideals that only guarantee frustration and disappointment.
For instance, the author discusses about sex, particularly how premarital sex, far from granting women control over their male brethren, have greatly diminished both sexes' capacity for genuine love. Yet, this phenomenon starts out from a feminist attitude; that women must be allowed to revel in their new found sexual freedom even to the extent of adopting the mindsets of promiscuous men.
The author says it better:
Of course, we may continue to do as we do now and pretend that women are every bit as sexually free and nonchalant as men. But if we do wish to carry on with this pretense, then we should not express astonishment or resentment when men behave more badly than they used to, or show less inclination to stay with us, or that sex generally feels more meaningless. After all, when something becomes widely and cheaply available, its value usually goes down too.
By denying these differences (between men and women), we prolong the period when we are sexually vulnerable; we waste the opportunity in our passionate youth to find lasting love and everything that goes with it--home, children, stability, and the pleasure of sex as an expression of profound, romantic, and monogamous love. We have traded all this away for an illusion of sexual power and, in doing so, have abandoned the customs that used to protect and civilize both sexes, that constrained men and women but also obliged them to live up to their best natures. We might now be more free. But we enjoy less happiness, less fulfillment, less dignity, and, of all things, less romance.
The book also delves into other areas such as love, marriage, motherhood, and aging and how women have adjusted in confronting these issues, usually to their detriment. Maybe, I'll discuss more of these areas later (when I finally find the book. It's actually lost and I still have to search for it in the family's labyrinth commonly referred to as "my ate's bedroom").
More tidbits from this book as I form my thoughts.
I stumbled upon the book, What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us by Danielle Crittenden. As a brief background, the book talks about the issues confronting the women of today and how feminism, despite its successes, has also failed "womanity" (Whow. I can't believe I just coined that word) in another aspect.
I can't do justice to the book itself but I hope a short rundown will temporarily suffice. The book homes in on a critical question: why is it that, in this time when women are ever more free to actualize themselves, happiness continues to delude most of them? The author then discusses in length some areas in the modern woman's life which requires re-examination.
One thing that got me interested in the book was how feminism simultaneously liberated women from the clutches of patriarchy while subjugating another generation to the values commonly associated with male stereotypes. Women have, in fact, become free but that freedom had also allowed women to become like "men" in a sense that women are now risking losing their authenticity pursuing ideals that only guarantee frustration and disappointment.
For instance, the author discusses about sex, particularly how premarital sex, far from granting women control over their male brethren, have greatly diminished both sexes' capacity for genuine love. Yet, this phenomenon starts out from a feminist attitude; that women must be allowed to revel in their new found sexual freedom even to the extent of adopting the mindsets of promiscuous men.
The author says it better:
Of course, we may continue to do as we do now and pretend that women are every bit as sexually free and nonchalant as men. But if we do wish to carry on with this pretense, then we should not express astonishment or resentment when men behave more badly than they used to, or show less inclination to stay with us, or that sex generally feels more meaningless. After all, when something becomes widely and cheaply available, its value usually goes down too.
By denying these differences (between men and women), we prolong the period when we are sexually vulnerable; we waste the opportunity in our passionate youth to find lasting love and everything that goes with it--home, children, stability, and the pleasure of sex as an expression of profound, romantic, and monogamous love. We have traded all this away for an illusion of sexual power and, in doing so, have abandoned the customs that used to protect and civilize both sexes, that constrained men and women but also obliged them to live up to their best natures. We might now be more free. But we enjoy less happiness, less fulfillment, less dignity, and, of all things, less romance.
The book also delves into other areas such as love, marriage, motherhood, and aging and how women have adjusted in confronting these issues, usually to their detriment. Maybe, I'll discuss more of these areas later (when I finally find the book. It's actually lost and I still have to search for it in the family's labyrinth commonly referred to as "my ate's bedroom").
More tidbits from this book as I form my thoughts.
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