Text Messages

When I was in college, I encoded text messages/quotes for posterity. I got the habit from one of my mentors, Sir Dennis "Dens" Rivamonte. So what better way to spend a Saturday afternoon than to do this activity again? Not in a Word document, but in a blog? Here goes:

bata: pabili nga po ng ubas.
tindero: wala kami ubas.
-kinabukasan..
bata: pabili nga po ng ubas
tindero: wala kami ubas.
-kinabukasan ulit..
bata: mama, pabili nga po ng ubas.
tindero: wala nga kameng ubas! isa pang tanong, babarilin ko yang bibig mo!
-kinabukasan..
bata: may baril kayo?
tindero: wala.
bata: pabili nga po ng ubas..
Edwin Gutierrez, 6 February 2009

Be with someone who knows what they have when they have you. You don't need too many people to be happy, just a few real ones who appreciate you for who you are
Rogelyn Donor, March 20, 2009

<On the deck of a ship>
An American threw his cellphone to the sea.
Pinoy: Oh, sayang!
American: There are lots of cellphones in America.
Japanese also threw his laptop to the sea!
Pinoy: Oh?! What the?!
Japanese: There are lots of computers in Japan.
(Pinoy is silent because ha has nothing to brag about)
Then a Korean came to join them.
Pinoy pushed the Korean to the sea.
Everybody: Oh My God! Why did you push him?
Pinoy: It's ok! There are lots of Koreans in the Philippines!
Edwin Gutierrez, March 20, 2009

Bakit mahirap ngumiti nang nakakunot ang noo?









Unya, e-try jud diay? Usab daw!! Nyahahaha!
Edwin Gutierrez, March 17, 2009

Nganong mahadlok man ang bitin sa amigas? Ngano?
Kay kung paakon siya sa amigas, wala siyay pangkalot.
Edwin Gutierrez, March 17, 2009

Nanay: Ayusin mo kama mo!
Badong: Nay, magugulo lang yan ulit , bakit ko pa aayusin? Para lang akong nagmahal tapos masasaktan lang muli.
Rogelyn Donor, March 16, 2009

Great things about friends: They will give you a loan at a much better rate than the banks. Shares your drink without fear of germs. They are better at cheering you up than parents do. Just hearing their voice makes you feel better. Someone with whom you can trust your online password. Without them, you never dare attend school reunions. Waits with you until your jeepney comes. And lastly, friendship is less likely to break up than a romantic relationship.
Rogelyn Donor, March 16, 2009

If we cannot be grateful for what we have received, then let us be thankful for what we have been spared. Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish it.
Manman, March 15, 2009


Duha ka amang nag-away.
Amang 1:
Amang 2:
Amang 1:
Amang 2:
Amang 1:
Amang 2:
Amang 1:
Luoy noh? Grabe jud ila away. Sayang ilahang friendship.
Edwin Gutierrez, March 14, 2009

Teacher: Unsang past tense sa laba?
Encio: Naglaba, Ma'am!
Teacher: ang present tense?
Encio: Naglalaba!
Teacher: Correct! Ang future tense?
Encio: Manghalay.
Edwin Gutierrez, March 12, 2009

Tarzan interviewed by the radio reporter:
reporter: gi-unsa nimo paghimo ug balay diha sa ibabaw sa kahoy?
Tarzan: ambot lang sir kay nag-board ra man ko diha.
Edwin Gutierrez, March 11, 2009

Mom: Kamaayo nimog Match 'nak oi. Mangutana daw ko beh.
Anak: Sige ma.
Mom: kung tagaan ka sa imo Papa ug four apples unya tagaan tikag tulo. Unsay tubag?
Anak: Salamat!
Edwin Gutierrez, March 11, 2009

Twilight: At the forest, Bella saw Edward's body shimmer as it has been hit by the sun.
Bella: I know what you are.
Edward: Say it! Say it out loud, say it!
Bella: BAYOT! Baga kaayo ug foundation nang imong nawong! Pula kaayo kag ngabil! Unya karon, glitter-glitter pa imong lawas?!
Edwin Gutierrez, March 11, 2009