Oh, the big question that will haunt me till tonight: Why am I back in Manila anyway?
I just had a slightly tearful farewell in Davao this afternoon and it was great that the whole family was there to see me off. Yes, I now firmly believe that I'll be a happier boy if I just worked in Davao city than here in Manila. There, I have my family with me and no matter how much stress I have to deal with in work, that would still be ok as long as I come home to my parents and siblings.
The truth is I really wanted to stay in Davao. I wanted to stay so bad that I was seriously contemplating of going AWOL and never coming back to Manila again. But of course, my superego ruled and I'm in another dingy Internet cafe in Taguig city, typing away the minutes.
Sometimes, there are times when you have to make the reasons clear even to yourself about some decisions you make. That's my melodrama for this post so here goes:
The Question: Why am I here in Manila, again?
The Answer: Because I work here and I intend to continue working for the current company I'm working for. Simply put.
Now the hard part follows: Really, why? Personally, I think I am on a professional pursuit for redemption. I want to redeem myself from my work-related mistakes, shortcomings during 2008 and the only way to do that is to stick with the company for 2009 and hopefully leave a good mark (My boss had problems with this attitude because it would be more, shall we say, positive if I was in "Gettysburg address" mode - ask not what your company can do for you but what you can do for the company. Simply put, he wished I would adopt the mindset of thinking about how I can contribute to the company's success instead of just working for my own redemption and the department's. But frankly, I'm more motivated to work with the latter reason so that's my "official justification").
Anyway, one other reason is I haven't explored Manila yet and there are still so many places, so many things I want to do here! Last year, I was so bogged down and so serious about my job, I did not realize how limited my time was in this new place. So I'm making it a point that before I leave Manila, I would have visited almost all of its spots. Also, I want to finally become a Singles for Christ member here and also resume my arnis training here (The reasons I'll probably explain in another post). I want to make some semblance of progress on "self-redefinition" before I return home.
So that's it. Whew, glad to get that off my chest.
I just had a slightly tearful farewell in Davao this afternoon and it was great that the whole family was there to see me off. Yes, I now firmly believe that I'll be a happier boy if I just worked in Davao city than here in Manila. There, I have my family with me and no matter how much stress I have to deal with in work, that would still be ok as long as I come home to my parents and siblings.
The truth is I really wanted to stay in Davao. I wanted to stay so bad that I was seriously contemplating of going AWOL and never coming back to Manila again. But of course, my superego ruled and I'm in another dingy Internet cafe in Taguig city, typing away the minutes.
Sometimes, there are times when you have to make the reasons clear even to yourself about some decisions you make. That's my melodrama for this post so here goes:
The Question: Why am I here in Manila, again?
The Answer: Because I work here and I intend to continue working for the current company I'm working for. Simply put.
Now the hard part follows: Really, why? Personally, I think I am on a professional pursuit for redemption. I want to redeem myself from my work-related mistakes, shortcomings during 2008 and the only way to do that is to stick with the company for 2009 and hopefully leave a good mark (My boss had problems with this attitude because it would be more, shall we say, positive if I was in "Gettysburg address" mode - ask not what your company can do for you but what you can do for the company. Simply put, he wished I would adopt the mindset of thinking about how I can contribute to the company's success instead of just working for my own redemption and the department's. But frankly, I'm more motivated to work with the latter reason so that's my "official justification").
Anyway, one other reason is I haven't explored Manila yet and there are still so many places, so many things I want to do here! Last year, I was so bogged down and so serious about my job, I did not realize how limited my time was in this new place. So I'm making it a point that before I leave Manila, I would have visited almost all of its spots. Also, I want to finally become a Singles for Christ member here and also resume my arnis training here (The reasons I'll probably explain in another post). I want to make some semblance of progress on "self-redefinition" before I return home.
So that's it. Whew, glad to get that off my chest.
4 comments:
Hang in there, man! :-)
Pataka Pao oy. Speech man na ni Kennedy nang "Ask not what your country can do for you" ek-ek.
I'm not as gung-ho as you are about work, but I share your sentiments. And I'm not as enthusiastic about seeing all there is to see in Cebu; all those warnings people give me about snatchers, joyriding gang members who shoot/stab people at random, and god knows what else can make one very paranoid.
Anyhoo, stay alive, Pao. Tama na, ipadayon nang arnis training nimo for when you need it. Haha.
Ay, sorry naman, Mel. Dili baya ko Amerikano. And thanks for the "motivation"...if you could call it that.
hahahha! pao...be happy wherever you are!
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