A Wedding Letter

I really, really wanted to publish this on Valentine's day. But I guess I can't wait that long and I'm pretty sure I'll forget this piece when that day comes.

As a background, this piece started coming to life when I saw the wedding documentary of Ogie Alcasid and Regine Velasquez. In the ceremony, they included a simple yet heartwarming tribute to one another: each took turns reading to the other a love letter.

This act (perhaps an ingenious idea from the show's writers) reminded me of the wedding of my cousin, Kuya Undo. I wasn't present in the wedding so Mama took the liberty of telling me what happened. There was also a part in the ritual where Kuya Undo and his bride (through intermediaries because my cousin had a speech and hearing problem and because his bride was mute - or was she deaf?) read to each other pledges of love. That didn't fail to bring smiles to everyone in the entourage.

So now, I'm inspired enough to write my own love letter. If I had the chance to say something to my bride on our wedding day, what would it be and how would I say it? The draft is still kind of rough but, as a starting point, I think it's good enough.

Still, this little exercise would be of no use if I didn't get married but I think I can still say the same piece if my brothers were to pick me as their best man. If you think it needs rework, I'm open to your ideas. Here goes:

I am not Prince Charming
nor will I ever hope to be.
I'm not tall, I'm not handsome.
I'll never sweep you off your feet.

But for the many years that we were together,
I have tried to become your man
And I'm happy yet so humbled
that it is beside me you choose to stand.

And on this day of promises
On this day we begin a dream
I'll give you my solemn promise,
an oath I intend to keep

That for everything I am not,
I choose to be the one,
the one you truly deserve,
the one who has won your heart.

When we are alone, I will become
the candle lights during dinner
and I'll be the kisses greeting you,
"Good morning and have a good day".

When we are outside, I'll be the strolls
down avenues and lanes
and I'll be the shade when the almighty sun
keeps all the clouds at bay.

When at home, I will be the dishes
all wiped clean and left to dry, I'll be the laundry
that is blowing under the radiant and light blue sky

When you're sad, I will be the shoulder
you can always lean upon, I'll be the tissue
waiting to be used on your table side

And when you're tired or sick, I'll be the hands
massaging your feet when they are sore
and I'll be the wet cloth on your forehead
to cool your fever even more.

And when you're stressed, I will be the world's
greatest sounding board and I will be the late night
conversations with the most amazing woman in the world.

And if we have children, I'll be the diapers
that need to be changed each and every night
and I'll be the camera taking pictures
of them growing in the Light.

And when we fight, I'll be the chest
you can hit to your heart's content
and I'll be the letter under the door
with the words, "I'm sorry. Can I sleep with you on the bed?"

And when we are old and wrinkles begin
come crawling across your face,
Then I'll be the whisper in your ear,
saying, "You're beautiful, more beautiful
with every single year."

And, despite all this, if I have not been clearly understood,
let me tell you simply, "I'll be your husband
in every sense and meaning of the word".

I love you.

Something's Happening

Something's happening to me. And it's not good.

Only this afternoon did I finally became aware of what I was becoming. It was almost the end of a very bad week. I was slumping on my chair, staring at nothing. I was emotionally drained and each fiber of my body sighed with exhaustion.

During my examen, I looked back at what had happened to me and it was clear that my mood had turned sour as the week progressed. I was frustrated at a lot of people, irritated with the phone calls, the distractions, the setbacks. My patience ran thin several times and there were many instances when I felt like blowing up.

The scary part is, for the life of me, I can't think of a particular reason why. Is it probably because my job is finally catching up to me? That it's changing me to someone I don't want to be? Or is it because of other personal affairs that I'm not even aware of? Or is this because I am secretly unhappy?

Maybe I'm just angry at everything right now.

Or maybe I'm just pregnant.

Videoke

Sometimes, I wish I were more musically inclined. Those times are when I'm holding a microphone in my hands as I barely utter the words shown on a television screen amidst the din of the speakers put on full blast.

As it turns out, I love videoke but singing isn't really a talent for me. Sometimes, I wish it was but I guess, at 23, it's too late to develop a a good, singing voice. Maybe, singing lessons would help but I'm pretty much stuck in low pitch just the same (a quality made less endearing by the emergence of more complicated, "birit" songs).

One thing I love about videoke is that expectations for such a public event are quite so low. No one expects you to carry out an engaging conversation (which is almost impossible given the insane noise); no one expects you to put your best foot forward; and, finally, no one expects you to sing well, except if you're one of those people who feel it's their duty to show the world they're the next singing sensation.

But still, the urge to sing well remains and it surfaces every time someone nudges the microphone at my direction. Maybe later, the feeling will eventually vanish and maybe then, videoke wouldn't feel so harsh, just more fun.

Congratulations

Just finished all my posts for 2010. As to why it took me this long, let me just say some posts needed to be expanded and some, reworked.

That's a total of 146 posts for 2010. Now on to 2011.

"Walay Sukli"

I think I feel a conspiracy being played out.

When I bought toiletries in SM recently, my change boiled down to several pesos and centavos. The cashier asked me if it's all right with me if she retain the cents since she did not have any smaller denomination other than one peso coins. I agreed.

Then, in another day, I bought some stuff from Watson's and the same thing happened. I was supposed to be given 75 cents as change but the cashier said she didn't have any centavo coins so she took the 75 cents from me as well.

Only last week, I began to realize that something was indeed amiss. Again, I was buying stationery in SM and the change boiled down to, you guess it, centavos. This time, the cashier didn't bother asking me the rhetorical question and just gave my change minus the extra centavos.

I could not help but think if this was a strategy of sorts, a way to glean extra profit from the consumer in the form of withholding change. Sure, centavos mean little but if you can imagine SM doing this to the millions of its patrons, those centavos can leave a very big impact in the bottom line.

If we play this out even more, we could ask, "What if SM is indeed playing with the pricing strategy?" What if it's intentionally including centavos in its price mark-ups so the scheme mentioned above can play out?

Interesting.

What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us

Just a mini-revelation from a surprising source.

I stumbled upon the book, What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us by Danielle Crittenden. As a brief background, the book talks about the issues confronting the women of today and how feminism, despite its successes, has also failed "womanity" (Whow. I can't believe I just coined that word) in another aspect.

I can't do justice to the book itself but I hope a short rundown will temporarily suffice. The book homes in on a critical question: why is it that, in this time when women are ever more free to actualize themselves, happiness continues to delude most of them? The author then discusses in length some areas in the modern woman's life which requires re-examination.

One thing that got me interested in the book was how feminism simultaneously liberated women from the clutches of patriarchy while subjugating another generation to the values commonly associated with male stereotypes. Women have, in fact, become free but that freedom had also allowed women to become like "men" in a sense that women are now risking losing their authenticity pursuing ideals that only guarantee frustration and disappointment.

For instance, the author discusses about sex, particularly how premarital sex, far from granting women control over their male brethren, have greatly diminished both sexes' capacity for genuine love. Yet, this phenomenon starts out from a feminist attitude; that women must be allowed to revel in their new found sexual freedom even to the extent of adopting the mindsets of promiscuous men.

The author says it better:

Of course, we may continue to do as we do now and pretend that women are every bit as sexually free and nonchalant as men. But if we do wish to carry on with this pretense, then we should not express astonishment or resentment when men behave more badly than they used to, or show less inclination to stay with us, or that sex generally feels more meaningless. After all, when something becomes widely and cheaply available, its value usually goes down too.

By denying these differences (between men and women), we prolong the period when we are sexually vulnerable; we waste the opportunity in our passionate youth to find lasting love and everything that goes with it--home, children, stability, and the pleasure of sex as an expression of profound, romantic, and monogamous love. We have traded all this away for an illusion of sexual power and, in doing so, have abandoned the customs that used to protect and civilize both sexes, that constrained men and women but also obliged them to live up to their best natures. We might now be more free. But we enjoy less happiness, less fulfillment, less dignity, and, of all things, less romance.

The book also delves into other areas such as love, marriage, motherhood, and aging and how women have adjusted in confronting these issues, usually to their detriment. Maybe, I'll discuss more of these areas later (when I finally find the book. It's actually lost and I still have to search for it in the family's labyrinth commonly referred to as "my ate's bedroom").

More tidbits from this book as I form my thoughts.

Writing Projects 2011

Okay. It's January and I have resolved to jump start my writing career, if I ever had one. As Nike had put it: Just do it. Just write and stop procrastinating.

Here's my list of things to do before this year ends:

1.) Fulfill my promises - Last year, I promised that I'll be finishing 12 blog posts per month. Right now, I'm down to 25 posts so far so I'm not finished with 2010 just yet. Like what I mentioned in a previous post, expect more write-ups popping up in my November and December 2010 "archives". That's me finishing stuff I should have finished a long time ago.

2.) Write The Unofficial Idiot's Guide on How To Be A Housing Loans Marketing Assistant: The Davao Business Center Edition - Yep, you read it right. But that's the tentative title of course. I got the idea from Reggie who also thought of making a manual for the people who will be replacing her. Basically, this book will be an act of charity; I don't want the newbies to "suffer" like I did so they better read my book. Or else. The problem here is the editorial work, since definitely, the manuscript cannot be read by outsiders lest I violate HR guidelines and end up getting fired. But I'll figure that out later.

3.) Write the freakin' brochure against backyard burning - It's over a year and what? I haven't come around to doing this yet. Jeesh. This will be my first all-Bisaya write-up so it's a bit daunting.

4.) Write the screenplay for "The Week of the Whales" - I love this book and its author, Sir Leoncio Deriada. In my untrained mind, I also think the book and its short stories can be successfully adapted to film. I have to seek the author's approval at first (does anyone know how to contact him?) but I guess I could start working on this project already.

5.) Write two short stories and three poems - That's my quota for the year.

6.) Write twelve blog posts per month - My blog has been my primary medium so far. I resolve to still write twelve posts per month even if it means having to deal with backlogs come 2012.

Good luck to me!

Pedicure 2

Okay. So that wasn't all that bad. I guess the trick is looking for a professional who can deftly polish your toes without accidentally bleeding you to death. I'm sticking with the salon in Centerpoint from now on.

Who Is Penelope Matanguihan?

I just found a gem in the department store. You see, I'm one of those guys who follow this maxim: that what you can find in the Internet, you need not buy in the store. In this setting, the store is the part in SM where they sell DVDs and CDs.

Most often, I simply glance around, looking at the many covers on the shelves, while silently making mental notes on what songs to download based on what I see at the backs of the CD covers. But I saw one CD and bought it instead.

The cover title is "Her Versions" and I was admittedly intrigued by it. The CD featured songs from an era where boy bands were still cool and it was also cool for a boy to sing a boy band song ( In other words, these were the songs when I was still in Grade School and the term "boy band" wasn't yet considered a misnomer). I have never heard these songs sung by a lady before and in acoustic version too so that piqued my curiosity just enough for me to shell out some money.

So I listened to it. And I was mesmerized. The first thing I did was check who the singer was. What? No mention of the singer in the cover. Then I looked inside and there she was: Vocals by Penelope Matanguihan.

I was in love. In love with a voice.

Afterwards, I checked the Internet. Penelope was a Pinoy Idol contestant who got booted out too soon. She had her moment of fame but, sadly, that wasn't enough for even her name to be placed on the cover of her own CD.

I also learned later on that I could download the entire CD for free from a website. But what the heck. I'm not experiencing buyer's remorse and, besides, this artist deserves all the royalties she could get.

Hello Ms. Penelope. Please, just let me tell you this: you have a fan in me.

Text Messages 27

Perfect description of trust:
Giving someone the ability to destroy you completely, but at the same time, being confident that they won't.
Mary Ann Andicoy, November 6, 2010

Two statements of wisdom in life:
1.) Before you say, "I can't", make sure you've tried.
2.) Before you believe others are better, show them the best.
Mary Ann Andicoy, November 10, 2010

Time is a rare luxury which can never be purchased at any cost. So when someone spends it for you, it defines the depth of care they have for you.
Mary Ann Andicoy, November 14, 2010

Minsan gusto kong sabihin sa iyo, "Nasaan ka? Miss na kita. I-text mo ako! Sinong kasama mo?" Kaya lang natatakot ako na baka sabihin mo, "Wala akong time sa iyo."
Unknown number, November 20, 2010

Question: Bakit kadalasan nakikipag-break ang GF sa BF at BF sa GF?
Answer: 25367.5 X 2, try mo solve sa calculator at baliktarin mo.
Unknown number, November 20, 2010

Which way are you going to take? The left where there's nothing right? Or the right, where there's nothing left?
Mary Ann Andicoy, November 25, 2010

Ayaw mo kabalaka anang 2012 nga end of the world. Di na tinuod! Ang ebidensya? Naa koy tinapa diri sa amoa. Mu-expire, 2013 pa.
Edwin Gutierrez, November 26, 2010

Boy: Naay pilok natagak oh! Make a wish!
Girl: Hmmm...sana magkaroon ako ng maraming wishes!
(Shiiingggg!)
Natagak tanan pilok!
Duh!
Edwin Gutierrez, November 27, 2010

A bus full of ugly people met an accident. All of them died.
Before entering heaven, God gave them one wish.
The first said, "Make me handsome", and God did.
The rest followed with the same wish.
When it came to the last person, he was laughing.
God asked him, the man laughed and said, "Make them all ugly again!"
Mary Ann Andicoy, November 27, 2010

Huwag mo ako itulak. Baka hilain kita... at sabay tayong mahulog sa isa't isa.
Mary Ann Andicoy, November 28, 2010

Best Of Both Worlds

Yep. Hannah Montana had it going then, back when Miley Cyrus was still innocent to the core.

In the show, the protagonist could manage to switch from all-star fame to normal anonymity because of her two dual personalities. She could enjoy the perks of being a celebrity and still manage a stress-free life being a nobody afterwards.

In my case, or in the case of my family, the same thing can be said. We live in Davao City but we also hail from Nabunturan, Compostela Valley, thanks to my mom. On one hand, I get to enjoy the life of a city dweller. On the other, I get to enjoy strolling down farm roads and embracing the life of the rural countryside. It's a blissful existence, if you ask me, and it took me several years before I realized that this was a blessing.

When I was young, I remember dreading the time when we had to go back to Davao. I loved Nabunturan and my playmates/cousins were there. Davao city meant school and chores while Nabunturan meant fun and playtime. Then, the attitude shifted. I wanted Nabunturan to be like Davao, with its beaches and its malls. Maybe, I just wanted the people of the town to enjoy what it was like to be in the city, hence the desire.

Fortunately, these were brief moments. And I got used to simply cherishing Nabunturan for its rustic charm all the while appreciating Davao and its varied lifestyles. Ok, diba?

Another Reason Why December 30 Should Be A Holiday

First up, curse you P-Noy and your holiday economics.

I'm stuck in a crowded bus. The day is December 31. With me is my Ate and we're on our way to Nabunturan to celebrate the new year with the Evangelio clan. We're all sweating and the bus is barely moving. We're stuck somewhere between Panacan and nowhere. Dust is swirling amidst the throngs of bodies and smells bursting from the aisles.

How did it come to this? Well, that's because yesterday wasn't a holiday. As decreed by the government, the holiday was moved to Monday, December 27, to make Christmas one day longer. So that made December 30 a regular working day and now all of us are trying our best to cram into the last bus trips for the provinces for the last day of the year.

Perhaps, this scenario escaped the supposedly brilliant minds occupying the top echelons of our country. That's probably because they don't ride buses.

Happy New Year Pao

So there goes New Year's Eve.

I probably had the most eventful way of greeting 2011. But maybe that's the sarcastic me trying to downplay my bad luck.

What really happened was an unexpected "blessing": a natural laxative that got me visiting the toilet bowl more often than I should.

It started around dinner of December 31. My sister and I were fresh off from the bus and I already started feeling tummy aches. I dismissed these symptoms, citing that I had too much to eat during lunchtime or these had to do with our bus ride to Nabunturan. So I ate. And then I got sick.

Something was bothering me so I was forced to lie down. I had to miss New Year's Eve Mass because I didn't feel like going. Then, finally, my brother shot a no-brainer advice suggesting I take a dump, if it would make me feel better. So I did. And then I got sicker.

From then on till dawn, my bedtime was punctuated by visits to the comfort room. I just got hit with my worse case yet of diarrhea. I tried to think of the probable areas where I could have gotten this but that was just me trying to control what was an uncontrollable situation.

On the next day, January 1, I felt better but the aches in the tummy were still there. Also, I had a slight fever so there were aches in my bones too. There was no open pharmacy so I had to go with the flow until I get a shot at a Loperamide pill. And so, for the second straight night, I had to sit on the throne several times once more.

Some would regard this as a bad omen. Yes, it really does seem like it. Getting sick on the first day of the year is no way to greet 2011. But I have to be realistic, of course. Year in and year out, there are always bad things that happen to us all throughout the year. And there are a lot of good things that do happen to us as well. Perhaps, in the cosmic fabric of the universe, my unlucky period probably is my destiny, welcoming the better things to come.

Happy new year to us all.