Several weeks ago, I was shocked. An officemate revealed to me that she got pregnant and was now on her seventh week. It was shocking because I thought it was never in her character to engage in premarital sex. I had always been the believer of the presumption of virginity among Filipinas and I found it hard to accept that I was so naive.
On the same day, after being told of my reaction, another officemate also told me that she was also into premarital sex. And to think that she was only nineteen years old when she started!
What is wrong with the world? Or, to be more specific, what's wrong with today's Filipina?
First, I have always been a believer of sex after marriage primarily because sex has a potential to distort any given relationship and, thus, must be enjoyed only within the confines of a committed relationship, the one already sealed with a wedding ring. Second, I have always thought that if a man loves a woman, then he is willing to wait for her even it means going through the arduous process of courtship, then the girlfriend-boyfriend phase, the engagement, and finally the wedding (It's a test, get it?). Third, I have also been brought up to acknowledge that sex has to be enjoyed only when both parties are fully aware of the responsibilities entailed in the act, an awareness that cannot be logically inferred from an arrangement where both are willing to have sex but are not willing to make the sex legitimate in the eyes of society.
Yes, I'm traditional but I also know I'm right. Filipina women, in seeking for themselves the sexual liberty that men enjoy, have lost the power that their grandmothers and mothers wielded.
The woman of yesteryears, the dalagang Filipina, knew what she wanted and knew what she possessed to help her get it. She wanted a partner in and for life. She could have that if she withheld herself from engaging in amorous relations . The power she had was inherent in her power to say no to sex without the benefit of marriage. And history would tell us that the strategy is quite good: men committed themselves to their wives and wives got committed husbands in return.
Has that lesson been lost in today's society? Or are today's Filipinas willfully relinquishing that power in return for something which is, quite sadly, ephemeral?
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