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Medical

23 September 2009

I don't like medical examinations. There's a certain amount of grossness associated with this bizarre initiation into the professional world, a grossness which leaves me squeamish and uncomfortable.

Take for instance urinalysis and fecalysis, where one is supposed to present his waste material as love offerings to the lab technicians. I don't know about you but nobody has ever explained to me the significance of those tests, which is a drag because, then, I have to do my own research in the internet.

The urinalysis is, you guess it, a test to analyze the content of your urine. This is to provide a general overview of one's health by measuring the amounts of certain substances present in your urine. Abnormal quantities can often be symptoms of certain diseases such as diabetes etc.

Fecalysis is another test to measure the condition of one's digestive tract in general. Again, abnormal quantities such as excess sugar, or the presence of blood, mucus, parasites can point to certain anomalies. I do humbly suggest however that hospitals also include the provision of antihelminthic drugs because, well, it follows (once the test picks up certain worms in your gut, you're bound to buy medicines for that, right?).

Actually, the only thing I hate about these tests is the part where I have to collect samples. That makes me go "Ewww!" but the self-humiliation doesn't stop there. I've done each test twice already (last year and this year) and every time I give my samples to the lab, there is always a pretty nurse waiting to receive them. And she is armed with two questions that can make any self-respecting gentleman lower his head in embarrassment: the questions "Ihi nimo ni?" and "Tae nimo ni?" (which is the Bisaya version of the more crude expression, "Is this your shit?").

However, don't get me wrong.I do understand the rationale behind this ceremony of tests, which is to screen potential employees from any underlying health problems. But understanding the reasons why doesn't often lead to greater acceptance (just like understanding death more doesn't mean one would accept it eventually). In any case, as long as companies trust the results and the effectivity of these tests, I guess there's no stopping the medicals: the drug test, the urine test, the chest x-ray, the stool test, the dental, the optical etc...

Ewww...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ewww!!! hehehe karon lang ko nakabasa sa imong blogs pao. wa pa nako nabasa tanan pero makalingaw sya.

-glenda

 

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