Month Of Conception

Yeah, I was wrong.

I had a conversation with Ma'am Beth regarding my month of conception. Her take was that, since she was born on November, she was definitely a product of love. If you count backwards for nine months, those whose birthdays were set in November were conceived in February, the month of love and romance.

I immediately replied that, perhaps, I'm also a product of love too. I was born in August so that puts my month of conception to December, the month of Christmas.

Wrong.

When I went home that night, I thought about it again and I knew something wasn't quite right. I counted and affirmed with assured resignation that I was conceived on a November day (or night). Small stuff really but it got me wondering what was going on in the minds of my parents when they did the act...

Ewww.

A blow-by-blow account of my parents' crime of passion? I don't even want to think about it.

Say What?!

Scene 1

I'm in Blugre. I'm with my officers and some office mates. It's the third part of Ma'am Jo's despedida party. Then, a man comes along and joins us at the table. Presumably, he's a former colleague since Ma'am Beth and the rest know him. He makes small talk. Then, Ma'am Q also drops by our table. She's in MTS after Ma'am Glen's wedding earlier that afternoon. The man says, "Unsa mani inyong gipangkuha? Tiguwang naman." Presumably, he just uttered an inside joke. Ma'am Q doesn't smile. Apparently, the rest of the women in our group are also not amused. I form my fist, not knowing what to do.

Scene 2

I'm beside my desk. The office is in a state of controlled chaos, due to the renovation. Three workers are busy putting on a tarpaulin to cover the windows. Two are rather old men while the third guy approaches me and says, "Kini mga lalake (nani) dili na maka-rape ke mahina na." I turn away, saying, "Gago."


Scene 3

Still in the office. Then, Clari says, out of the blue, "Kumusta kagabi Sir Ram? Nakapick-up kayo?" Sir Ram wisely lets the remark go unanswered. But Clari persists asking several times before letting the issue go.

Text Messages 26

Intelligence can bring you to success but it's your attitude that keeps you there. Remember: Grades don't define a person, attitude does.
Unknown number, October 15, 2010

Customer: Day, papalita kog coke, kanang bugnaw.
Tindera: Maestro ka ser?
Customer: Dili, pulis ko.
Tindera: Maestro ka ser?
Customer: Dili lagi! Bungol ka ba?
Tindera: Dili ser, pasabot nako mosuyop ka bag stro. Maestro ka ba?
Edwin Gutierrez, October 15, 2010

Juan: Tag-ana unsay akong pinaka-nindot nga batasan. Nagsugod sa letter A.
Gorio: Aprotsabul.
Juan: Wrong.
Gorio: Adjastabul.
Juan: Sayup.
Gorio: Akumuditing.
Juan: Nisamot ka wrong.
Gorio: Unsa man diay uy?
Juan: Ang akong pinakanindot nga batasan...ANIST.
Mary Ann Andicoy, October 18, 2010

If we keep saying thank you to God and thank you to other people, someday the gates of heaven will open for us with the words, "You're welcome!"
Mary Ann Andicoy, October 19, 2010

Doctor: Misis, patay na imong bana, sorry.
Pasyente: (Nagtinga) Buhi pa kooo!
Asawa: Char! Ayaw pagbuot oi! Doctor na gud ang nagsulti. Piyong na diha!
Edwin Gutierrez, October 22, 2010

It takes a thousand brains to explain what love is.
But to know and feel love? Two hearts can do both.
Mary Ann Andicoy, October 24, 2010

Sometimes, we wish we could read the minds of other people. But I guess God did not give us that gift so can have the chance to trust and the privilege to be trusted.
Mary Ann Andicoy, October 26, 2010

Kung tanan niyang ginabuhat, ginahatagan nimo'g meaning, hapit na ka mahimong dictionary.
Mary Ann Andicoy, November 2, 2010

Some believe...in signs...serendipity...destiny...love at first sight...soul mates...eternal love! Kaya ayun...SINGLE!
Edwin Gutierrez, November 5, 2010

Single is not a status. It is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others. True.
Mary Ann Andicoy, November 6, 2010

Computer Games

This is a short recap of my checkered history in computer games.

The first time I played a game on a PC was during a get-together in Tito Jogs' house. Joey (or is this his real name?), the son of Tito Jogs, was our host and had a kick out of teaching us the games in his father's computer (although, if I remember right, he was the one playing the whole time and my brothers and I were just spectators).

Then after, I was introduced to the family game console my cousin, Kuya Arnel, had. I learned about Mario and racing games but, just like before, I was usually the spectator since a lot of kids wanted to play as well.

What I was particularly good at was Tetris. My ate had a console and whenever she wasn't around, I would drain the batteries of the device just playing. Yep, I was a Master then.

When we were older, Papa bought a second-hand laptop and we grew up playing Wolfenstein, Chess, and what else. Then, we met Noynoy, a neighbor, and my brothers and I would troop to their house to play his Playstation and some Lego (I, however, never grew fond of consoles. I prefer instead the versatility of a mouse and a keyboard).

Papa again brought some hardware home and this time, it was a self-assembled PC. It had a lot of games in it and a love-hate affair was born: I loved the PC but I hated having two brothers. Nevertheless, amidst all the quarrels, we all enjoyed Starcraft, Outlaws, and the dogfight game (was it Airduel, something? Hmmm...).

Sadly, that PC had to become obsolete so Papa brought in another one. This time, I got the chance to play WarCraft, a bit of Counterstrike (I'm more into strategy games than anything else), Red Alert, Battle Realms, and Rome Total War. It was crazy.

But that was it. Soon after, I lost interest in playing computer games. Bulec, my younger brother, revamped the CPU to accommodate games like Deadspace and what else. As for me, I was done with it. Maybe, I grew up after all.

I do remember a time when I asked myself, "Why am I wasting my time playing these computer games?" Then, it dawned on me that I had better things to do like waste my time surfing the net or writing this blog or perhaps dreaming of a good business.

So, adieu computer games, I will miss you. But the boy then is now a man.

The Lost Key

November 19, 2010 was a special day for a multitude of reasons.

Why? Let's just say I kept forgetting things all day. That morning, I forgot to wear my belt, which was supposed to be part of my ensemble for our dance showdown in the Bankers Night that night (redundant huh?).

Then, when I left the office to prepare for the show, I forgot my cellphone. Alex and I had to call Corinne and ask if she could safe keep the phone for me for the meantime.

When we got out of the taxi in Rizal, Grace gave out a loud shriek. It turned out I forgot to bring with me the umbrellas. Now, these umbrellas were no ordinary umbrellas but were props painstakingly covered with metallic paper for the show. We stored these inside the taxi's trunk and everyone conveniently forgot about them.

I immediately ran after the taxi. Fortunately, the taxi was loading on another passenger and stopped at Merco Bolton so I caught up with it. Whew. If I hadn't been that lucky, I'll be Sweet's* first homicide victim.

But my luck finally run out. The next, next day, Sunday, I realized I lost the key to my drawer in the office. I could remember that Corinne had handed to me the key along with my cellphone during the Bankers Night but it was nowhere to be found. My deduction was it must be lying somewhere on the backstage of the CAP auditorium.

Oh man. Crap. The next thing I knew, I was talking to the janitor in CAP if he had seen such a key (the answer was no). So come Monday morning, I borrowed a crowbar from the workers currently doing the renovations in the office and proceeded in opening my drawer.

That moment is probably the only time I'll ever get close to robbing a bank. But I finally did it. I opened the drawer, unscrewed the key hole, and I was off to NCCC Mall to have a duplicate key made.

There, I learned something. You can make a duplicate key with only the key mechanism. Another lesson for the day, if I may say, but it doesn't top the first lesson: don't forget things.

*Our choreographer, who deserves all the acclaim that we received.

The Things We Eat

Hey, I just realized this. And it took me 23 years to finally accept this as common sense truth.

The things we eat? Those names you see in supplements, vitamins, and stuff? The names which at first I thought were just mere coincidences but were actually purposely named after metals such as zinc, iron, etc.? Those things are actually metals! Yup, same metals you see around us, only in smaller and in more digestible form.

Yes. I can be that naive.

Champions

What can I say? We are the champions.

The 2010 DCBA Bankers Night Dance Champions.

(Kapoy na photoshop sa picture. Basta kana na.)

A Little Bit Of Advice

I've been with loans, particularly housing loans, for over a year now. And I think that qualifies me to give some advice for those who want to borrow from the banks. Consider the following musings as free candy from your friendly, neighborhood banker but, like all other advice, especially free ones, please do take all I say with a grain of salt.

The number one thing you have to know is that we will surely find out if you've been playing naughty with your credit cards. If you have unsettled balances, don't bother applying until you've settled them all. Likewise, if you have cancelled cards, then always have a clearance on hand. Nitpick your credit card company if you have to because that clearance will surely be your lifesaver in the future.

Second, please do apply well in advance, especially if you're applying for a housing loan. No matter what the banks say about faster processing times and even faster approvals, there are still many factors which can impede your application. There are the government institutions which are notoriously slow and there are the credit findings you might not have seen coming but have to contend and deal with along the way.

Third, please do try submitting all your complete requirements. You're going to make our jobs easier if you follow this simple tenet.

Fourth, if you are a depositor of a certain bank, then go apply to that bank. You already have a head start in applying for a loan. That's because you already have an existing relationship with the institution. Later on, you would be surprised how much leverage you can get with this simple fact.

Finally, respect the process and the people. Applications, like everything else, take time. And please do respect the people who are processing the loans. Although we will try to put up with your irate mannerisms, destiny always has a curious way of throwing back at you what you throw out to others.

Islam And Women

I don't know. I really don't know. But why is it that, no matter how I shake the thought out, I still think Islam is synonymous with gender inequality?

Call me politically incorrect or ignorant but I can't help wonder what is it in Islam that inspires a lot of misogynistic acts in many parts of the world. This thought was further compounded when I read the book "Death of Feminism" by Phyllis Chesler.

A modern-day feminist, Chesler reads like a doomsday prophet warning everyone about the impending Islamic threat to women's struggle for liberation and rights. She does this by detailing an alarming array of cases of violence against women perpetrated by men in the name of Islam (To digress, she also laments the growing alliance between feminists and their once-reviled enemy, the pornography industry, and details how such an arrangement is undermining the movement). She detailed honor killings (which I was roughly familiar with), rapes, murders, and other horrific crimes dealt against women, which clearly stemmed from a distorted view of what women are and what they should be.

After reading the book, I was obviously stunned, even flirting with the idea that Islam might be the Anti-Christ (The idea isn't original though. I found several websites trying to prove this). Perhaps, some may say that blame shouldn't be placed on Islam but on the culture of the people practicing the religion. With this, they are probably justified in this assumption because there are several Muslim countries where men respect their women.

But the reality still remains that, in many parts of the world, Islam has been interpreted in a way that marginalizes women and leaves them vulnerable to abuse just as the same kind of interpretation has made terrorists out of promising, young Muslims.

To be an emancipating force, Islam, like Christianity, must evolve. It must accommodate women and the rest of the world and, until now, this remains the greatest challenge among Islamic scholars.

Rej Purple

Hi Rej,

As promised, I'm writing you a blog post (If you were wondering, this is really a November post so people won't be reading this unless they intentionally sift through my 2010 list).

Anyway, I think I've said whatever I needed to say. We had the team building for that and the occasional chitchat. Also, I think I've said goodbye to you already often enough so you don't need me reminding you again. Reminding you that we're no longer office mates. Reminding you that we're not going to be saying hellos every day anymore.

It's a shame really, with you leaving. Just affirming what Ma'am Beth said, you had the aura of an officer in the making. In my free rides with Noelle, we could imagine you, even "smell" you becoming one. It was just a matter of time (I'm a firm believer of Ma'am Beth's desire to make officers out of everyone of us). But I guess patience isn't exactly one of the best attributes of our batch.

But then again, Rej, I'm proud of you and this is thanks to that one memorable car ride. At first, I thought I had a shot at making you stay. Let's just say I felt inclined to help Noelle by changing your mind. I had the script already: I could play the "Jing" card, making you feel like you owed it to your boyfriend to stay with us, or I could convince you to stay until a job offer finds its way home.

However, after that ride, you had me agreeing with you that you should leave. Your reason wasn't petty; it was downright serious. It was integrity, your integrity was on the line, and that was why you had to go. I certainly could respect that and that's why I'm so proud of you.

Just to share, I had the opportunity to hear the life story of a broker of ours last year. She had worked in COA before (or was it in the BIR?) but eventually she had to resign. Her reason? She couldn't stomach anymore the corruption in these offices and she had neither the power nor the influence to change things for the better ( I was also "corrupted" in a good way because of what she shared; I made sure her account got booked as fast as we could).

Why am I saying this? Well, because your decision mirrors these woman's ideals. And sometimes, ideals demand sacrifices (Although, in your case, I think you consider your resignation more as a sigh of relief). And, lastly, sacrifices are only done by those who know what they want and what they stand for.

Rej, I don't know where you're going. But please do maintain the character that you are when you were with us. I'm going to be missing you. Just like the rest of us.

Gumasa

Gumasa was incredible.

Bow.

Visiting The Dead

This post is intended to remind me that my deceased loved ones, wherever they are, need my prayers as much as I need them.

To the people who've helped me become who I am, I "stand on the shoulders of giants".