Introduction to Finality

This post's title is also the title of Community's final Season 3 episode. At the time the episode was shown, there was uncertainty whether Community would continue on to Season 4 or not.

For me, the title is good word play (similar to the title of Bones' final Season 5 episode: The Beginning in the End). It's also suiting that 'Introduction to Finality' be the title of the last post of this blog.

Before you get sentimental, don't. I'm just moving out to another address. I'm leaving Blogger for Wordpress because of the following reasons: fear of obsolescence and a need to begin again.

First, I am justifiably concerned at what other writers are writing about Blogger: the lack of development in the platform and the limited flexibility it offers. Wordpress seems to offer a vastly improved option, something that I cannot wait to experience.

Second, I need to begin again. For the past year, there's been a lot of growth and personal development. Unfortunately, I've either lacked the time to write about it or the effort to put it into writing. I believe (and I hope) that, with this change, I can get back to writing again.

By the way, I just came up with a third reason: I want to restart because there is that gnawing fact that I have outgrown this blog. Reading my posts now point to a person I have a hard time identifying. 

Although this blog will always be a part of me, it's time to share another side of the story, a side which would fare better in a new setting. 

I'd like to end this post with an analogy on butterflies and caterpillars but that might appear too cheesy. So I'll end it instead with an invitation.

If you want to know what my new blog is all about, I'll share it in my new address. See you there.

The Marriage Prayer

My father used to say that the best way to love your children is to love their mother.

That's sound advice. But what's also the best way to love your wife?

The song "The Marriage Prayer" by John Waller provides an answer to that:

The message rings true of what the Church teaches: that the foundation of a good and joyful marriage is a strong and deep relationship with God.

Even before the word "Third Party" became notorious, the Church has taught that a marriage must resemble the Holy Trinity. Whereas, the Trinity consists of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, so too must marriages consist of the husband, the wife, and God.

All too often, this perspective of marriage is overshadowed by the world's misconceptions. For most of us, drawn by the romantic notions of pop culture and media, we merely conclude that the key to a lasting marriage is simple: we only have to love each other with whatever we've got for the rest of our lives.

But such a naive formula negates one aspect of all marriages: humans aren't perfect. We make mistakes. We take our spouses for granted. We get angry and say hurtful words. We fail time and again to love. Over time, such lapses accumulate, leading to indifference, separation, or annulment.

It is after due consideration of our limitations to love that we find the presence of God necessary. He is no longer a cumbersome artifice on the side but the living, breathing soul of every Christian marriage. He becomes a counterbalance to our imperfections, a standard to follow and adhere, and a constant amidst the whirlwind of emotions.

It is when things go rough, when your spouse becomes "unlovable", that the need to love God becomes more eminent. A man who loves God strives to become perfect as his Father (Matthew 5:48). This he does even if perfection means looking past the Godzilla that is his wife and loving her as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25). Similarly, a woman who loves God strives to abide by His Word even if such obedience means loving the biggest jerk on the planet.

For Christians, loving is an act of the will and this implies the ability to still love in spite of the feelings or emotions of the moment. It is only when we understand how much God loves us, despite our shortcomings, that we can love like Him. Then, it is only when we can love like Him that we can love our spouses for a lifetime.

Restart

“Recreate your life, always, always. Remove the stones, plant rose bushes and make sweets. Begin again.” - Cora Coralina

And so it is with this blog. 

Glancing at the number of posts for the past several months, I obviously took a long vacation from writing. I always took as my excuse the lack of time and the many things that demanded my attention. That's a fancier way of saying "I'm busy" but it was the truth.

Lately though, I've realized that the excuse was running hollow. Why, if I didn't have time, did I still spend my nights browsing the internet for several hours? Even with that alone, there was a disconnect between what I was saying and how I was acting.

It dawned on me that my premature 'death' as a blogger stemmed not from a busier life but from a lack of commitment. Moreover, I lacked commitment because I haven't found a reason yet why I should keep on writing.

Why do I write? 

And, more importantly, why must I continue writing?

Thankfully, my hiatus has brought me snippets of the answer. One is that I have to begin looking at blogging in a different light. Before, it was a hobby. Now, I have to see it as a mission. Before, it was a vehicle out of boredom. Now, it is a vehicle to influence. Before, it was simply to pass the time. Now, it is something that should have its time.

It's too early to say I'm back for real. But I'm deciding now that this blog is worthy of my utmost attention.

Growing Old Together

No introduction needed.

For couples getting married, you should watch this. 

Being The Nice Guy

"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." -  Thumper

This line is from the movie Bambi and practicing it takes a lot of wisdom and discipline. 

For me, learning this lesson involved a lot of burned bridges, regret, and pain. Even though I already covered this quote in a post some time ago, there were still instances when I forgot this quote in the heat of the moment and I paid for it dearly.

Still, I can honestly say there has been progress since then. I don't text angry messages any more, choosing to talk to the person directly before choosing to rage out. I now automatically think about the context why someone did this or that. I withhold reacting until I see the complete picture.

Of course, there are still struggles. I am still judgmental (though the thoughts are now contained in my head). I still harbor unpleasant thoughts and/or feelings like anger, envy, resentments, ridicule, things which I consider as "harassments". Occasionally, something slips but it is always followed by a profuse apology.

Being a nice guy is hard work. But as Thomas Edison would say: "There is no substitute for hard work."

"Peace Be With You"

Back in college, a Theology teacher of mine recounted how he would wince when strangers greet him "Peace" during that portion in the mass. 

For him, the greeting should be predicated by two things. First, that greeter must be in a quarrel with him. Hence, the greeting of peace is taken as an apology or an act of forgiveness on the part of the greeter. Second, that greeter must be known to him. Otherwise, the greeting of peace becomes illusory, a token act by an otherwise disinterested co-participant in the mass.

It took me a while to realize that his premises were wrong. First, we greet each other not because we have a grudge in need of a resolution. We greet because we are modelling Jesus Christ. It is our belief that in acting out as Jesus did eons before, we become channels in bringing His peace to others. 

Interestingly enough, for most people, the greetings of peace become self-fulfilling prophecies. But that's something for another post.

The second prerequisite has more meat though. Often times, through force of habit, we greet each other sans the sincerity of the act. Too often, the greeting becomes mechanical and obligatory. The life is drained away by routine and familiarity. 

I do not have an easy answer for this. But one way I can respond is by becoming more authentic in doing the greeting regardless if the recipient is a stranger, a friend, or a family member.

The Lord's peace be with you.

Faith In The Era Of Doubt

The Gospel today, about Doubting Thomas (John 20: 19-31), prompted me to ask: why did God became man at such a time? Why didn't he choose this age instead to come down to earth?

By living in this century, Jesus would have made it easier for us to believe in Him and His Resurrection: we're talking about hundreds of pictures and videos from smart phones and paparazzi documenting His every move, His every word. With the current technology, we would have been able to amass literally millions of reference material on Him and His teaching instead of the measly four Gospels we have now. In short, it would have been easier to believe in Jesus, fully alive, fully human and divine.

Instead, He was born in a small desert nation ruled then by the Roman empire. He lived in a time full of superstition and crude beliefs, when 'documentation", as we know it now, was virtually non-existent. 

Some historians nowadays question the historicity of Jesus Christ. Some hypothesize that He did not exist at all. Some claim that He was in fact an amalgam of several influential thinkers. In both schools of thought, Jesus Christ is an illusion. As to why has the belief in such a questionable figure of history persisted over the centuries points to nothing else but the intractability of the Jesus myth.

But yet we are here: believing in the Risen Lord with a fervor that defies logic and reason. 

Sir Ivan, a former colleague, shared a story about the Jesuits during one of our sales trips. The conversation was about my mother's comment on the Society of Jesus. She was mesmerized how such men, immensely gifted intellectually, did not see any discord between their faith in God and in science. Sir Ivan promptly replied that, perhaps, this is so because the Jesuits have seen and experienced God Himself; any other proof was rendered moot.

Maybe, it is only fitting that Jesus lived and died in the context that He was in: a forgettable nation in what should be an insignificant era of human history, a time when pictures, videos, or even news have yet to be invented.

It is only in this context that the phrase 'leap of faith' can ever become genuine. Without any 'evidence' of Jesus, our transition from non-belief to belief becomes all the more powerful and life-changing. Without 'evidence', ironically, God becomes more evident in the way He touches us. Like the Jesuits, we believe even more that Jesus is alive because we have seen and experienced Him. We have felt Him move us and change us deep within.

This is perhaps the paradox of His Resurrection today: that in His physical absence, He makes His presence all the more felt. 

Answering Islam

Back in my BPI years, a colleague, Alex, introduced me to this website, Answering Islam. She had a relationship back then with a Muslim guy who loved to argue against the tenets of Christianity. The website was her primary resource when researching for ways to counter some of the more ridiculous claims by the guy.

I recently stumbled across the website again when I was watching the news about ISIS' Japanese hostages. Feeling negative, I remembered this site and pored through the more current articles about Islam. 

To be honest, I was motivated to visit this site because I wanted to know why this religion is repeatedly becoming a springboard for men to become anarchists, murderers, rapists, pillagers, and robbers. In other words, I wanted to know why Islam was the root cause of so much evil today.

Instead, what I got was an affirmation of my religion and the Christian faith. 

True, Christianity has its own share of sins throughout the course of history. But the one thing that has kept the church guided and in constant course correction is the enduring example of Jesus Christ. Despite our many faults and shortcomings, Christians across centuries have nevertheless sought to follow the teaching of Jesus Christ to love God and neighbor.

Love is for Christianity what submission is for Muslims. And amidst the violence wrought by radical Muslims across the world, Love, not apathy nor hate, is how we will answer them in the end.

Mamasapano

I know it isn't the right time to talk about this.

But it's so hard resisting the itch. I'm a Mindanaoan. I have three cousins who are policemen. During college, I have read the books Under The Crescent Moon, In The Presence of My Enemies, and countless essays about the Moro insurgency.

Now, I feel angry, betrayed, hopeless. But the worse feeling is reading the news, gulping, and thinking: "It's happening again. The cycle won't stop. People just keep killing and saying the wrong things."

I'm going to write about this incident in length at some other time. Right now, I have to pause and wait for the results of the investigation.

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

- Laurence J. Peter 

Execution

Good plan. Better execution. Excellent results.

After three weeks, I can finally go full blast and put the sales plan into action. 

This is Year 2 in my current company. And I'm excited. Last year, the General Manager visited us and gave us a lot of autonomy on what we can do to make our business unit grow.

His words were manna from heaven and I've been busy thinking about what we can do better. 

Here's hoping things go according to plan. 

We really need many more wins here in Davao. 

2015 Personal Learning Goals

1) Learn how to cook

2) Learn to play the guitar (again)

3) Get back to playing basketball

4) Learn Python

"Single"

A fellow brother in my Lingkod community shared to me one conversation he had with his mom last month. Aware of his mother's expectations, he told her that he wasn't pursuing anyone for 2015 so he could focus more on his service.

His sharing brought back home how we've misconstrued the label "single". 

For many, being single is akin to a burden. For men, it carries the unpleasant connotation that either the guy's advances are always rejected or he's torpe, unwilling to make the first move. For girls, the lack of a boyfriend may mean she's undesirable.

Needless to say, many of us like to avoid this situation and likewise treat others in this predicament with sympathy.

Kawawa ka naman. 

Tara, hanap tayo ng babae sa tabi-tabi...

Pag-laag pud panagsa 'day para ma-expose ka.

Tabangan nato si ku-an mangita'g uyab beh.

"Kung sino pa yung gwapo't maganda, sila pa yung single." - Bob Ong

Somehow, along the way, we lose sight of how much a blessing it is to be single. I don't mean the common benefits such as less expenses, less heartaches, or less headaches. But the blessing here is this: by being single, we are blessed to love less so we can love more.

What does the paradox mean? First, by having no boyfriend or girlfriend, we're able to care for more people. By not balancing our priorities with an exclusive relationship, we can distribute more of our resources - our time, money, emotional stamina, and effort - across many. We can build better relations with our siblings, parents, or relatives. We can spend more time with our friends. We can give back a lot more to our community.

Second, being single means an opportunity to love ourselves better. It's a good excuse to do some introspection, be more self-aware, and become better persons for it. 

Third, being single means we're more free to know and love our God more. Without the necessary distractions of a significant other, the state of single-hood is an opportunity to deepen our spirituality, hone our prayer habits, and increase our faith. 

Again, by loving less, we're able to love more.

The surprising thing is that the time when we're single actually prepares us to be better committed partners in the future. All it takes is a change in mindset and to recognize that being single is a gift in its own right.

The Wise Men

I think I should share something from last Sunday's gospel.

The gospel last January 4, 2015, during the Epiphany of the Lord, was taken from the Book of Matthew 2:1-12. It tells the story of the wise men who came and paid homage to Jesus Christ, the infant. 

Finding Jesus across miles and miles of desert by following a "star" is nothing short of a miracle. But that's not what I want to emphasize.

What I want to point out are three characteristics that can be gleaned from the wise men.

First, they had faith. They believed in the eventual success of their journey despite the almost insurmountable obstacles ahead. 

Second, they had diligence. Decades of poring over a foreign nation's literature and messianic texts prepared them for the moment when the sign would arrive. True, they had faith but, more importantly, it was an informed faith built over years of diligent study. 

Third, they looked past appearances. Anyone who saw Jesus Christ in a manger would be right to assume the child wasn't in any way royalty let alone a king. But the wise men knew deep inside their hearts that this child was the one they we're looking for.

And guess what? They were right.