Text Messages 31

It's tongue twister time! Read it fast:
BOUQUET
BUFFET
BALLET
WALLET

Walley?
Pag-sure oi!
Usabon na niya ron.
Edwin Gutierrez, August 1, 2011

Kung kinabuhi nako ang bayad para sa imong kalipay...
padayon na lang sa imong kaguol.
Jericho Bolo, July 27, 2011

Reasons why senior citizens are given discounts:
Food- daghan na bawal
Transpo- maglisod nag sakay
Grocerieis- di na makaalsa'g bag
Sine- hanap-hanap na ang mata
Medicine- di na magdugay
Concerts- maglisod na'g dungog
Motels- mag-unsa man pud uroy sa sulod?
Enjoy life while young. Don't wait for discounts.
Edwin Gutierrez, July 9, 2011

Girl: Hawa dira bi! Ako man naglingkod dira!
Boy: Hambuga jud nimo oi. Basi gusto ka imudmod ko nang simud nimo sa simud nako?!
Edwin Gutierrez, July 7, 2011

Ulan ka ba?
Eh bakit paulit-ulit kang nahuhulog sa'kin?
Edwin Gutierrez, July 5, 2011

Holdaper: Holdap to!
Girl: And so? Walang nagtatanong.
Holdaper: Holdap nga to!
Girl: Kelangan ipagsigawan? Proud ka? Proud?
Holdaper: Holdap sabi eh! Holdap nga! Holdap!
Girl: Paulit-ulet? Unli tayo teh?
Holdaper: Pag di ka tumigil, papatayin kita!
Girl: Weeh? Holdap naging patayan? Ano to? 2 in 1?
Holdaper: Leche! Maka-alis na nga!
Girl: Ayyy? Walk-out? Best actor?
Edwin Gutierrez, June 21, 2011

Time and things don't really last. What matters are the people we care about and the values we dare to live and share. Let life be as beautiful as your heart.
Mary Ann Andicoy, June 19, 2011

Muslim and priest at a party:
Priest: Pork really tastes good. Tell me, when are you going to break the rules and have some?
Muslim: On your wedding.
Edwin Gutierrez, June 16, 2011

"Hindi lang naman karma ang kinatatakutan ng mga two-timers eh... kundi pati ang wrong send."
Jericho Bolo, June 1, 2011

A loveless life is like a fruitless tree. But a friendless life is like a rootless tree. A tree can survive without a fruit, but it cannot survive without roots.
Mary Ann Andicoy, May 23, 2011