That's sound advice. But what's also the best way to love your wife?
The song "The Marriage Prayer" by John Waller provides an answer to that:
The message rings true of what the Church teaches: that the foundation of a good and joyful marriage is a strong and deep relationship with God.
Even before the word "Third Party" became notorious, the Church has taught that a marriage must resemble the Holy Trinity. Whereas, the Trinity consists of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, so too must marriages consist of the husband, the wife, and God.
All too often, this perspective of marriage is overshadowed by the world's misconceptions. For most of us, drawn by the romantic notions of pop culture and media, we merely conclude that the key to a lasting marriage is simple: we only have to love each other with whatever we've got for the rest of our lives.
But such a naive formula negates one aspect of all marriages: humans aren't perfect. We make mistakes. We take our spouses for granted. We get angry and say hurtful words. We fail time and again to love. Over time, such lapses accumulate, leading to indifference, separation, or annulment.
It is after due consideration of our limitations to love that we find the presence of God necessary. He is no longer a cumbersome artifice on the side but the living, breathing soul of every Christian marriage. He becomes a counterbalance to our imperfections, a standard to follow and adhere, and a constant amidst the whirlwind of emotions.
It is when things go rough, when your spouse becomes "unlovable", that the need to love God becomes more eminent. A man who loves God strives to become perfect as his Father (Matthew 5:48). This he does even if perfection means looking past the Godzilla that is his wife and loving her as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25). Similarly, a woman who loves God strives to abide by His Word even if such obedience means loving the biggest jerk on the planet.
For Christians, loving is an act of the will and this implies the ability to still love in spite of the feelings or emotions of the moment. It is only when we understand how much God loves us, despite our shortcomings, that we can love like Him. Then, it is only when we can love like Him that we can love our spouses for a lifetime.
