The first time I rode a bus in Manila, I offered my seat to a lady in her 40's (It was the Fort bus and I rode it after my first day of work). I remember thinking then that for as long as I live here, I would offer my seat to any lady found wanting.
Well, that was the idea anyway.
Nowadays, I don't exactly follow that kind of principle. I like to blame it on the bad examples around me: I have been witness to a lot of able-bodied men turn a blind eye to women while riding the bus or the train.
It's true. Chivalry is definitely dead here in Manila and I cannot blame the men for being so "callous". Commuting can be such a pain in the neck and it is so tempting, and I repeat, oh-so-tempting, to just sit down on the bus/train seat after a hard day's work and not mind everyone else.
But even as I acknowledge this lack thereof, I am also aware of my pedigree: I may not be a lady's man but I am still a gentleman, at best. And as a gentleman, I still have to practice this now-forgotten art of male civility. But since I'm here in Manila, I have to play by a different set of rules:
Criteria for offering a woman/girl your seat
Criteria No. 1 - I must be sitting along the aisle.
This first criteria generally applies when I'm riding a bus. If I were seated near the window or sandwiched between two people, I won't bother getting up. Why? The reason is because I risk inconveniencing my seatmates by stepping on their toes and budging through them while I offer a lady my seat.
Criteria No. 2 - The woman/girl in question must be near me.
I'm now a lazy brat and I won't offer anyone my seat unless she is 3 feet near me.
Criteria No. 3 - The woman/girl must be alone.
Suppose the lady in question is with company, say, a boyfriend. Plus, they are hugging each other like boa constrictors in the Amazon, should I then offer my seat? Or the lady just loves standing up because she's chatting away with friends and the quality of their conversation would be severely diminished if she had been sitting down (just imagine teenagers shouting at the top of their heads), should I offer my seat? Those were rhetorical questions.
I do hope my set of criteria is fair enough. Nevertheless, I still want chivalry to make a comeback in Manila. That's because if my mom, my sister or a close girl-friend of mine would be standing on a bus or train, I would still appreciate it if a guy would be gracious enough to offer his seat.
Now, think about that for a second.
Well, that was the idea anyway.
Nowadays, I don't exactly follow that kind of principle. I like to blame it on the bad examples around me: I have been witness to a lot of able-bodied men turn a blind eye to women while riding the bus or the train.
It's true. Chivalry is definitely dead here in Manila and I cannot blame the men for being so "callous". Commuting can be such a pain in the neck and it is so tempting, and I repeat, oh-so-tempting, to just sit down on the bus/train seat after a hard day's work and not mind everyone else.
But even as I acknowledge this lack thereof, I am also aware of my pedigree: I may not be a lady's man but I am still a gentleman, at best. And as a gentleman, I still have to practice this now-forgotten art of male civility. But since I'm here in Manila, I have to play by a different set of rules:
Criteria for offering a woman/girl your seat
Criteria No. 1 - I must be sitting along the aisle.
This first criteria generally applies when I'm riding a bus. If I were seated near the window or sandwiched between two people, I won't bother getting up. Why? The reason is because I risk inconveniencing my seatmates by stepping on their toes and budging through them while I offer a lady my seat.
Criteria No. 2 - The woman/girl in question must be near me.
I'm now a lazy brat and I won't offer anyone my seat unless she is 3 feet near me.
Criteria No. 3 - The woman/girl must be alone.
Suppose the lady in question is with company, say, a boyfriend. Plus, they are hugging each other like boa constrictors in the Amazon, should I then offer my seat? Or the lady just loves standing up because she's chatting away with friends and the quality of their conversation would be severely diminished if she had been sitting down (just imagine teenagers shouting at the top of their heads), should I offer my seat? Those were rhetorical questions.
I do hope my set of criteria is fair enough. Nevertheless, I still want chivalry to make a comeback in Manila. That's because if my mom, my sister or a close girl-friend of mine would be standing on a bus or train, I would still appreciate it if a guy would be gracious enough to offer his seat.
Now, think about that for a second.
3 comments:
"Female brethren...?" Hmmm, reword, Paolo, reword! :-D
In addition to your stated criteria, I have one more -- she must be at least twice my age. Of course, now that I'm getting on in years, I usually just round it off to, oh, around 50.
Thanks Dom! Just edited it. By the way, nice idea there. Will apply it when I'm well into my forties. Hehe
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