Metrosexuality

Metrosexual: A straight man who embraces the homosexual lifestyle, i.e. refined tastes in clothing, excessive use of designer hygiene products, etc.   -Urban Dictionary   Okay. I get pedicures because my toenails are ugly. I get manicures because my job requires me to involuntarily expose my fingernails to other people. I sometimes shave my legs when I go out in shorts because hairy legs are unsightly. I shave my underarms when I go to the beach. I use an array of skin and facial products. I wash my hands after going to the comfort room. I maybe fastidiously hygienic but being clean never hurt anyone.   For some people, this behavior would brand me as a homosexual and a narcissist. But I beg to differ. I'm not attracted to guys so that makes me straight. Plus, the last time I checked, taking care of my appearance isn't a mark of an egotistic mind.   I insist that I am instead a metrosexual but I don't fit the term just yet. If I were to base my criteria on the definition above, I'm only a 'semi-metrosexual': I don't have any fashion sense and I can vaguely understand gay lingo.   So why am I saying this? Well, this is just my feeble attempt at clarifying my behavior to other people, who would insinuate that these characteristics have something to do with my sexuality or lack thereof.