Text Messages 15

Sa police station:
Pulis: Unsay nawong sa suspect?
Witness: Naka-orange siya unya iyang buhok kay yellow.
(Nag-drawing ang artist)
Artist: Hepe, dili nato kayang dakpon ni.
Hepe: Ngano man?!
Artist: Yellow ang buhok nga naka-orange! Kung dili si Naruto, si Son Goku ni!
-Perti!
Edwin Gutierrez, January 30, 2010

Lola: Dong, kabalo naman ka nga tigulang na ayo ko. Kung mamatay ko, ipa-mana nako sa imo akong umahan, prutasan, balay, mga hayop ug hot air balloon.
Apo: Salamat kaayo la, asa man nako na makuha ang imong mana?
Lola: Sa Facebook dong, akong username gwapa143@yahoo.com, dayon hubag143 ang password.
-Facebook jampong
Edwin Gutierrez, January 30, 2010

Banat for the day:
Ampalaya ka ba?
Kasi kahit anong pait ang naranasan ko sa piling mo, ikaw pa rin ang sustansyang hanap ng puso ko.
Edwin Gutierrez, January 29, 2010

Boy: Kandila ka ba?
Girl: Hindi, bakit?
Boy: Kasi ang ganda mo sa dilim, sa dilim ka na lang...
Girl: Kaw? Kandila ka din ba?
Boy: Hindi rin, bakit?
Girl:Hipan sana kita para mamatay ka na...
Unknown Number, January 28, 2010

An ambitious medical intern in a tertiary hospital dialled canteen and shouted:
"Get me a cup of coffee quickly!"
The voice from the other line said:
"You fool! You've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to? I'm the medical director of this hospital, you idiot!"
The intern shouted back:
"And do you know who you're talking to?"
Medical director: "No!"
Intern: "Thank God!" (hung up)
Unknown Number, January 27, 2010

When I die, I don't want RIP on my tombstone. Ang gusto ko, ISR.
"I Shall Return!"
Ate Cathy, January 26, 2010

Words of Wisdom!
1.) Give to God what's right, not what's left.
2.) A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
3.) He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
4.) In the sentence of life, the Devil may be a comma, but never let him be the period.
5.) Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to church for a face lift.
6.) When praying, don't give God instructions. Just report for duty.
7.) We don't change God's message; his message changes us!
Ate Cathy, January 26, 2010

Loveless life is like a fruitless tree. But a friendless life is like a rootless tree. Trees can live without fruit, but not without roots. Thank you for being one of my roots. Amping!
Unknown Number, January 25, 2010

Isipin mo kung lahat ng mag-ama ay bading:
Ama: Junaknak ikyeme mo sa mudra mo, later na akiz juwe. Overtime akiz sa work chenez.
Anak: Trulala ba yan pudra? Chochorva ka lang ata eh!
Ama: Echuserang froglet! Wiz na tayo anda nid ko OT para may jolawance ka!
Anak: Di naman akiz jinge ever ng jolawance sa yo ah!
Ama: Kapal ng feslak mo! Wit na nga ko panglafang kakagetlak mo ng anda ko noh!
Anak: Keribelles! Ok fine kyeme ko na kay mudra!
Ama: Keri mo yan go!
Edwin Gutierrez, January 25, 2010

We do not arrive at friendship from necessity. We aren't friends because I have a need for you or you for me. But it's a great pleasure that you've share your character, company, ideas, and life with me. And we're not done with each other yet, right?
Mark Salazar, January 24, 2010

I walk and I see lovers. I turn my head and I see lovers. I sit on the bench and beside me are lovers. An old woman comes and asks me, "You seem to be contented sitting alone." I answered, "I know, at the right time, God will send that person sit beside me forever." She answered, "Whatever, loser!"
Bwisit na tigulang!
Kit Loma, January 23, 2010

You can't live your entire life without taking risks, but you can certainly choose when to take them.
Mark Salazar, January 21, 2010

Usa ka adlaw, nisakay ka ug jeep. Unya sakit kaayo imong tiyan, ka-utoton kaayo ka. Ma'y gani kusog ang music. Kada utot, sabay sa beat. Pagnaug nimo, natingala ka kay tanan sila, sa imo gatan-aw. Ug anha pa nimo na-remember, nag-headset diay ka.
Papa, January 20, 2010

"Akala ko sila pa"
"Kami na pala"
- rason ng mga estudyanteng hindi handa sa report.
Unknown Number, January 20, 2010

That's "Government" For You

Most people I know like to work in the government and I can't blame them for desiring. That's why the Civil Service Commission (CSC) will never go out of business (When I took my CSC exams some time ago, I was taken aback by the number of people who also took the exams with me).

A government job is stable, that's what they say, and that's what makes it appealing despite the small salary. Unfortunately, it also carries with it an insidious side effect. Like the quote from The Dark Knight movie: "You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain", some employees in the government, pushed with enough temptations on the side, eventually become corrupt as the years progress. There are a lot of people who started out in government with high-minded ideals but eventually degenerated into selfish individuals bent on self-preservation and self-gain. From my standpoint, that's a sad but inevitable outcome.

Mama had shared to me about her recent encounter with an ex-childhood friend who was an ex-suitor during her college years (who is slowly but surely turning out to be an ex-friend as well).

The story goes like this. My mother knew that this person is currently sponsoring a scholar. But the sponsorship also came with strings attached: the scholar is a mistress of that person/soon-to-be-ex-friend. When my mother confronted the guy, the guy shrugged off my mother's comment by saying that altruism nowadays isn't for free; it must always come with certain strings.

My mother then retorted that, even in today's times, that shouldn't necessarily be the case. There are people who do help without expecting anything in return, that there are people who sincerely extend assistance without any ulterior motive. This person then asked my mother to name one and my mother, bless her soul, gave my father's name, who has been assisting some scholars from years back.

Then, everything went ugly. After hearing this, the person immediately rebutted, insisting that there must be a motive, a "catch", to what my father was doing. To make matters worse, one of that person's colleague joined the fray, who also insisted that, nowadays, people don't help because they want to but because they need something in return. In the end, they simply couldn't believe that my father would be doing a little piece of philanthropy without any payback, if at all. That thought was alien to them.

As for my mother, she didn't leave the scene without telling that person he's a DOM. And for the past several weeks, she has not replied to any of that person's text messages.

Why this story? Well, that's because both the person and her colleague were products of government. And, like what my mother had said to me, perhaps something in their years of service in the government made them doubt the inherent better qualities of humanity. Perhaps something happened that made them change their mindsets and, in turn, made them perceive other people as having the same mindset as they have.

What's more depressing still is that there are some people, with noticeably weaker internal constitutions, who succumb to corruption after only months in the service.

Novie, a former college classmate of mine, had related the story about "King", a batch mate, who after, several weeks working for an agency, had already learned how to gleefully cheat his RATA (Representation And Travel Allowance, right?). The bad part is that this person doesn't feel any remorse at all but treats these unethical supplements to his income as something that is rightfully his own.

To cap this post, we also recently bade farewell to a colleague in the office. He had to resign because, according to the press release, he would be joining the political campaign of a family relative somewhere in Samar. He was harboring aspirations for public office and the easiest way to get there was to join a campaign. The plan was, if the family relative would win the election, they would be inserted into office and into the system, making it easier to run in the next elections.

Looking back, the plan obviously brooded of nepotism but I guess my former colleague had already thought of the same thing. Still, that guy was a good guy as far as I'm concerned. Unfortunately, being "good" now doesn't assure you'll be good forever.

Waking Up

Working in a bank has its perks, one of which is that I get to see the machinery of the government in the distance while not exactly being involved in it directly.

To explain my point, an example is in order. Right now, we're experiencing some slight headaches with the Register of Deeds (ROD). Titles are not getting annotated because they're undergoing their own "computerization" process, encoding digitally the vast number of titles in their cabinets. What usually took only 3-5 days is taking forever in the ROD.

My personal opinion is that they should penalize whoever their service provider is for not implementing contingency measures to streamline operations despite the ongoing computerization effort. Or maybe, they should instead fire the wise guy on top for pushing for this reform without adequately thinking about how this will hamper the process and how to best mitigate the bad effects.

But still, it's already here. And in the end, I hope we will all be commending the ROD for what it's trying to do (It's been a long time coming, actually).

Other more disturbing stories come to the foreground, however. I got to listen to my boss' stories when she was still working in Manila. Proving that corruption is alive and well in the government, she related how judges and police officers would shamelessly ask for "facilitation fees" so they would be moved to evict people. She also related how BIR personnel would also ask for some dough under the table for documents to be processed "quickly enough". And the ROD also comes to the picture, again, with known rumors of office employees accepting cash to expedite documents.

It's really a dirty game. But I'm also fortunate enough to have met some people who stood by their convictions and didn't play with the rules. Case in point was a broker I met some time ago who had worked for the Commission of Audit. She resigned then and went to brokerage because she finally couldn't stomach the practice prevalent among her colleagues (Ex: tampering documents, collecting "hush money" from companies etc. You know those stuff). Plus, she said it wasn't a nice idea feeding your children using money gained through ill means.

Now, that's a Rose among the thorns.

Just Missing Some People

Buhi pa ba ang sando ni Kit?
Fitness first ba tong gym ni Clinton?
Unsa gani tong pangalan sa iro nila Te Janneth?
Makalakaw na ba si Yuan?
Musta kaya tong thesis sa mga student boarders nila Ate?
Unsa gani pangalan ato nila?
Ok ba sa Malaysia?
Naa pa bay gapalaba sa Crystal Clear?
Naa pa ba tong gabaligya ug pares-pares sa kanto?
Sila Pansit pa bag Roda?
Kabalo na kaya ang parente ni Te Roda?
Kanus-a ba mu-resign si Edsel?
Nakapasa ba to si Ate Xiela?
Vhong ba jud or Bong?
Asa magbalay sina Kuya Nathan ug Tulip?
Nalingaw na kaya to si Lea sa Manila Water?
Ga-inom na kaya tog Anlene?
Si Ryan, ika-pila na kaya na niya na company karon?
Kumusta na nga pala si Ron, the consultant?
Ba't napa-tagalog ako bigla?
Bayot ba si Uael?
Musta kaya tong video documentary ni Palang?
Gi-post ba niya sa Youtube?
Si Ate Glenda, single pa ba?
Velia's still running right?
Ikakasal na talaga si Gian?
Si Ciara kaya, nitaba na gamay?
Kinsa kaya office crush niya karon?
Mag-apply na lang kayag housing loan si Cor?
Pwede siya sa BPI, kung gusto niya...
Asa na kaya gi-assign si Andrew?
Ga-inom pa ba sila every now and then?
Naay promo ang Cebu Pac?

Big Dreams For The Streets

Okay. Contrary to my Catholic upbringing, I'm not fond of street urchins either. I ignore them most of the time. I don't give them money. I don't validate their existence at all.

But I do also harbor a plan to keep them off the streets which, if I'm lucky, I can help implement during my lifetime. However, I'm not confident at all if I can ever execute it, which is why I'm sharing it in this blog, hoping that someone with means can think of it as a good idea and go for it.

The germ of the idea comes from the movie, Pursuit of Happyness, and the seafarer's dormitory, Pier One. The problem this idea intends to solve is that of the disconcerting number of street dwellers who are residing along Davao's thoroughfares at night.

Apparently, little action has been done to solve this issue since these street dwellers don't harbor any economic value at all. Apart from the usual problem of littering and the possible tarnishing of Davao's (or should it be Mindanao's?) image as a "Land of Promise", these people typically don't bear the marks of a social nuisance. They do not cause violence or widespread chaos and they do leave the footsteps of establishments once morning comes. In short, they are invisible; souls hidden under newspapers at night, shadows who vanish with the morning.

They are also not attractive beneficiaries for CSR programs. In addition to being anonymous, this group is likewise fragmented and do not share the same identity let alone a shared physical location. Even a socially responsible company would find these facts frustrating and would instead invest their money towards more appealing and easier ventures like, say, sponsoring an orphanage or a GK community.

Yet, I believe these facts can be surmounted and it's simply akin to reintegrating these outcasts into society by teaching them the proper skills and providing them the necessary opportunities.

With this, I'm talking about a special shelter for the homeless, which not only provides temporary shelter for these dwellers but also provides a meeting point from where the rest of the world can reach out to this demographic.

First, let's start off with the shelter. I'm talking about a community dormitory from where these street dwellers can stay for the night, a building complete with shower rooms and a warm dinner. It's going to be something like what you saw in the movie, with beds and everything else.

But this is not its only purpose. The dormitory will serve as a locus for all the other charitable efforts that will follow. It will help focus the philanthropic ventures of many to increase efficiency and impact.

Crucial to this purpose, the dormitory will feature a job opportunities board for these dwellers. Initially, jobs posted will be that of low-quality jobs as befits the skill level of the would-be dormitory residents. These jobs might usually feature postings for house helpers, laborers, and other blue-collar work. Those who want to post jobs onto the board (contractors, homeowners, foremen etc.) will be screened and will be charged a small "posting" fee to supplement the income of the dormitory. It is my hope that as the years trod on, more and more companies will be inclined to post jobs suitable to medium-skilled workers.

Apart from the jobs board, the dormitory will also feature a seminar hall which will be the venue for skills development classes (either from TESDA or other NGOs). House helpers can greatly benefit from these classes because these can provide them with free skills to pursue other streams of income apart from their work as chimays.

But perhaps, the greatest appeal of this dormitory is its ability to attract CSR programs from both institutions and corporations. Since the dormitory concentrates the beneficiaries into just one place, it is easier to conduct activities which will directly affect these street dwellers. On top of this, it is going to be easier to attract funding because the dormitory has a name, a name that people can write on their checks, post on their websites, or place on banners (ex: This program is through the initiative of *ehem* Prospero "Trapo, este,...Boy" Nograles).

To finish this post, let me just say that this is merely an idea. I mean, before this dormitory can even be considered, there will have to be a battery of analyses and feasibility studies which will determine the cost-effectiveness and sustainability of this project.

And this suits me just well. What's important is that someone or some group is considering turning this idea into a reality.