Sa police station:
Pulis: Unsay nawong sa suspect?
Witness: Naka-orange siya unya iyang buhok kay yellow.
(Nag-drawing ang artist)
Artist: Hepe, dili nato kayang dakpon ni.
Hepe: Ngano man?!
Artist: Yellow ang buhok nga naka-orange! Kung dili si Naruto, si Son Goku ni!
-Perti!
Edwin Gutierrez, January 30, 2010
Lola: Dong, kabalo naman ka nga tigulang na ayo ko. Kung mamatay ko, ipa-mana nako sa imo akong umahan, prutasan, balay, mga hayop ug hot air balloon.
Apo: Salamat kaayo la, asa man nako na makuha ang imong mana?
Lola: Sa Facebook dong, akong username gwapa143@yahoo.com, dayon hubag143 ang password.
-Facebook jampong
Edwin Gutierrez, January 30, 2010
Banat for the day:
Ampalaya ka ba?
Kasi kahit anong pait ang naranasan ko sa piling mo, ikaw pa rin ang sustansyang hanap ng puso ko.
Edwin Gutierrez, January 29, 2010
Boy: Kandila ka ba?
Girl: Hindi, bakit?
Boy: Kasi ang ganda mo sa dilim, sa dilim ka na lang...
Girl: Kaw? Kandila ka din ba?
Boy: Hindi rin, bakit?
Girl:Hipan sana kita para mamatay ka na...
Unknown Number, January 28, 2010
An ambitious medical intern in a tertiary hospital dialled canteen and shouted:
"Get me a cup of coffee quickly!"
The voice from the other line said:
"You fool! You've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to? I'm the medical director of this hospital, you idiot!"
The intern shouted back:
"And do you know who you're talking to?"
Medical director: "No!"
Intern: "Thank God!" (hung up)
Unknown Number, January 27, 2010
When I die, I don't want RIP on my tombstone. Ang gusto ko, ISR.
"I Shall Return!"
Ate Cathy, January 26, 2010
Words of Wisdom!
1.) Give to God what's right, not what's left.
2.) A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
3.) He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
4.) In the sentence of life, the Devil may be a comma, but never let him be the period.
5.) Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to church for a face lift.
6.) When praying, don't give God instructions. Just report for duty.
7.) We don't change God's message; his message changes us!
Ate Cathy, January 26, 2010
Loveless life is like a fruitless tree. But a friendless life is like a rootless tree. Trees can live without fruit, but not without roots. Thank you for being one of my roots. Amping!
Unknown Number, January 25, 2010
Isipin mo kung lahat ng mag-ama ay bading:
Ama: Junaknak ikyeme mo sa mudra mo, later na akiz juwe. Overtime akiz sa work chenez.
Anak: Trulala ba yan pudra? Chochorva ka lang ata eh!
Ama: Echuserang froglet! Wiz na tayo anda nid ko OT para may jolawance ka!
Anak: Di naman akiz jinge ever ng jolawance sa yo ah!
Ama: Kapal ng feslak mo! Wit na nga ko panglafang kakagetlak mo ng anda ko noh!
Anak: Keribelles! Ok fine kyeme ko na kay mudra!
Ama: Keri mo yan go!
Edwin Gutierrez, January 25, 2010
We do not arrive at friendship from necessity. We aren't friends because I have a need for you or you for me. But it's a great pleasure that you've share your character, company, ideas, and life with me. And we're not done with each other yet, right?
Mark Salazar, January 24, 2010
I walk and I see lovers. I turn my head and I see lovers. I sit on the bench and beside me are lovers. An old woman comes and asks me, "You seem to be contented sitting alone." I answered, "I know, at the right time, God will send that person sit beside me forever." She answered, "Whatever, loser!"
Bwisit na tigulang!
Kit Loma, January 23, 2010
You can't live your entire life without taking risks, but you can certainly choose when to take them.
Mark Salazar, January 21, 2010
Usa ka adlaw, nisakay ka ug jeep. Unya sakit kaayo imong tiyan, ka-utoton kaayo ka. Ma'y gani kusog ang music. Kada utot, sabay sa beat. Pagnaug nimo, natingala ka kay tanan sila, sa imo gatan-aw. Ug anha pa nimo na-remember, nag-headset diay ka.
Papa, January 20, 2010
"Akala ko sila pa"
"Kami na pala"
- rason ng mga estudyanteng hindi handa sa report.
Unknown Number, January 20, 2010
Pulis: Unsay nawong sa suspect?
Witness: Naka-orange siya unya iyang buhok kay yellow.
(Nag-drawing ang artist)
Artist: Hepe, dili nato kayang dakpon ni.
Hepe: Ngano man?!
Artist: Yellow ang buhok nga naka-orange! Kung dili si Naruto, si Son Goku ni!
-Perti!
Edwin Gutierrez, January 30, 2010
Lola: Dong, kabalo naman ka nga tigulang na ayo ko. Kung mamatay ko, ipa-mana nako sa imo akong umahan, prutasan, balay, mga hayop ug hot air balloon.
Apo: Salamat kaayo la, asa man nako na makuha ang imong mana?
Lola: Sa Facebook dong, akong username gwapa143@yahoo.com, dayon hubag143 ang password.
-Facebook jampong
Edwin Gutierrez, January 30, 2010
Banat for the day:
Ampalaya ka ba?
Kasi kahit anong pait ang naranasan ko sa piling mo, ikaw pa rin ang sustansyang hanap ng puso ko.
Edwin Gutierrez, January 29, 2010
Boy: Kandila ka ba?
Girl: Hindi, bakit?
Boy: Kasi ang ganda mo sa dilim, sa dilim ka na lang...
Girl: Kaw? Kandila ka din ba?
Boy: Hindi rin, bakit?
Girl:Hipan sana kita para mamatay ka na...
Unknown Number, January 28, 2010
An ambitious medical intern in a tertiary hospital dialled canteen and shouted:
"Get me a cup of coffee quickly!"
The voice from the other line said:
"You fool! You've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to? I'm the medical director of this hospital, you idiot!"
The intern shouted back:
"And do you know who you're talking to?"
Medical director: "No!"
Intern: "Thank God!" (hung up)
Unknown Number, January 27, 2010
When I die, I don't want RIP on my tombstone. Ang gusto ko, ISR.
"I Shall Return!"
Ate Cathy, January 26, 2010
Words of Wisdom!
1.) Give to God what's right, not what's left.
2.) A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
3.) He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
4.) In the sentence of life, the Devil may be a comma, but never let him be the period.
5.) Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to church for a face lift.
6.) When praying, don't give God instructions. Just report for duty.
7.) We don't change God's message; his message changes us!
Ate Cathy, January 26, 2010
Loveless life is like a fruitless tree. But a friendless life is like a rootless tree. Trees can live without fruit, but not without roots. Thank you for being one of my roots. Amping!
Unknown Number, January 25, 2010
Isipin mo kung lahat ng mag-ama ay bading:
Ama: Junaknak ikyeme mo sa mudra mo, later na akiz juwe. Overtime akiz sa work chenez.
Anak: Trulala ba yan pudra? Chochorva ka lang ata eh!
Ama: Echuserang froglet! Wiz na tayo anda nid ko OT para may jolawance ka!
Anak: Di naman akiz jinge ever ng jolawance sa yo ah!
Ama: Kapal ng feslak mo! Wit na nga ko panglafang kakagetlak mo ng anda ko noh!
Anak: Keribelles! Ok fine kyeme ko na kay mudra!
Ama: Keri mo yan go!
Edwin Gutierrez, January 25, 2010
We do not arrive at friendship from necessity. We aren't friends because I have a need for you or you for me. But it's a great pleasure that you've share your character, company, ideas, and life with me. And we're not done with each other yet, right?
Mark Salazar, January 24, 2010
I walk and I see lovers. I turn my head and I see lovers. I sit on the bench and beside me are lovers. An old woman comes and asks me, "You seem to be contented sitting alone." I answered, "I know, at the right time, God will send that person sit beside me forever." She answered, "Whatever, loser!"
Bwisit na tigulang!
Kit Loma, January 23, 2010
You can't live your entire life without taking risks, but you can certainly choose when to take them.
Mark Salazar, January 21, 2010
Usa ka adlaw, nisakay ka ug jeep. Unya sakit kaayo imong tiyan, ka-utoton kaayo ka. Ma'y gani kusog ang music. Kada utot, sabay sa beat. Pagnaug nimo, natingala ka kay tanan sila, sa imo gatan-aw. Ug anha pa nimo na-remember, nag-headset diay ka.
Papa, January 20, 2010
"Akala ko sila pa"
"Kami na pala"
- rason ng mga estudyanteng hindi handa sa report.
Unknown Number, January 20, 2010
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