Introduction to Finality

This post's title is also the title of Community's final Season 3 episode. At the time the episode was shown, there was uncertainty whether Community would continue on to Season 4 or not.

For me, the title is good word play (similar to the title of Bones' final Season 5 episode: The Beginning in the End). It's also suiting that 'Introduction to Finality' be the title of the last post of this blog.

Before you get sentimental, don't. I'm just moving out to another address. I'm leaving Blogger for Wordpress because of the following reasons: fear of obsolescence and a need to begin again.

First, I am justifiably concerned at what other writers are writing about Blogger: the lack of development in the platform and the limited flexibility it offers. Wordpress seems to offer a vastly improved option, something that I cannot wait to experience.

Second, I need to begin again. For the past year, there's been a lot of growth and personal development. Unfortunately, I've either lacked the time to write about it or the effort to put it into writing. I believe (and I hope) that, with this change, I can get back to writing again.

By the way, I just came up with a third reason: I want to restart because there is that gnawing fact that I have outgrown this blog. Reading my posts now point to a person I have a hard time identifying. 

Although this blog will always be a part of me, it's time to share another side of the story, a side which would fare better in a new setting. 

I'd like to end this post with an analogy on butterflies and caterpillars but that might appear too cheesy. So I'll end it instead with an invitation.

If you want to know what my new blog is all about, I'll share it in my new address. See you there.

The Marriage Prayer

My father used to say that the best way to love your children is to love their mother.

That's sound advice. But what's also the best way to love your wife?

The song "The Marriage Prayer" by John Waller provides an answer to that:

The message rings true of what the Church teaches: that the foundation of a good and joyful marriage is a strong and deep relationship with God.

Even before the word "Third Party" became notorious, the Church has taught that a marriage must resemble the Holy Trinity. Whereas, the Trinity consists of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, so too must marriages consist of the husband, the wife, and God.

All too often, this perspective of marriage is overshadowed by the world's misconceptions. For most of us, drawn by the romantic notions of pop culture and media, we merely conclude that the key to a lasting marriage is simple: we only have to love each other with whatever we've got for the rest of our lives.

But such a naive formula negates one aspect of all marriages: humans aren't perfect. We make mistakes. We take our spouses for granted. We get angry and say hurtful words. We fail time and again to love. Over time, such lapses accumulate, leading to indifference, separation, or annulment.

It is after due consideration of our limitations to love that we find the presence of God necessary. He is no longer a cumbersome artifice on the side but the living, breathing soul of every Christian marriage. He becomes a counterbalance to our imperfections, a standard to follow and adhere, and a constant amidst the whirlwind of emotions.

It is when things go rough, when your spouse becomes "unlovable", that the need to love God becomes more eminent. A man who loves God strives to become perfect as his Father (Matthew 5:48). This he does even if perfection means looking past the Godzilla that is his wife and loving her as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25). Similarly, a woman who loves God strives to abide by His Word even if such obedience means loving the biggest jerk on the planet.

For Christians, loving is an act of the will and this implies the ability to still love in spite of the feelings or emotions of the moment. It is only when we understand how much God loves us, despite our shortcomings, that we can love like Him. Then, it is only when we can love like Him that we can love our spouses for a lifetime.

Restart

“Recreate your life, always, always. Remove the stones, plant rose bushes and make sweets. Begin again.” - Cora Coralina

And so it is with this blog. 

Glancing at the number of posts for the past several months, I obviously took a long vacation from writing. I always took as my excuse the lack of time and the many things that demanded my attention. That's a fancier way of saying "I'm busy" but it was the truth.

Lately though, I've realized that the excuse was running hollow. Why, if I didn't have time, did I still spend my nights browsing the internet for several hours? Even with that alone, there was a disconnect between what I was saying and how I was acting.

It dawned on me that my premature 'death' as a blogger stemmed not from a busier life but from a lack of commitment. Moreover, I lacked commitment because I haven't found a reason yet why I should keep on writing.

Why do I write? 

And, more importantly, why must I continue writing?

Thankfully, my hiatus has brought me snippets of the answer. One is that I have to begin looking at blogging in a different light. Before, it was a hobby. Now, I have to see it as a mission. Before, it was a vehicle out of boredom. Now, it is a vehicle to influence. Before, it was simply to pass the time. Now, it is something that should have its time.

It's too early to say I'm back for real. But I'm deciding now that this blog is worthy of my utmost attention.

Growing Old Together

No introduction needed.

For couples getting married, you should watch this. 

Being The Nice Guy

"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." -  Thumper

This line is from the movie Bambi and practicing it takes a lot of wisdom and discipline. 

For me, learning this lesson involved a lot of burned bridges, regret, and pain. Even though I already covered this quote in a post some time ago, there were still instances when I forgot this quote in the heat of the moment and I paid for it dearly.

Still, I can honestly say there has been progress since then. I don't text angry messages any more, choosing to talk to the person directly before choosing to rage out. I now automatically think about the context why someone did this or that. I withhold reacting until I see the complete picture.

Of course, there are still struggles. I am still judgmental (though the thoughts are now contained in my head). I still harbor unpleasant thoughts and/or feelings like anger, envy, resentments, ridicule, things which I consider as "harassments". Occasionally, something slips but it is always followed by a profuse apology.

Being a nice guy is hard work. But as Thomas Edison would say: "There is no substitute for hard work."

"Peace Be With You"

Back in college, a Theology teacher of mine recounted how he would wince when strangers greet him "Peace" during that portion in the mass. 

For him, the greeting should be predicated by two things. First, that greeter must be in a quarrel with him. Hence, the greeting of peace is taken as an apology or an act of forgiveness on the part of the greeter. Second, that greeter must be known to him. Otherwise, the greeting of peace becomes illusory, a token act by an otherwise disinterested co-participant in the mass.

It took me a while to realize that his premises were wrong. First, we greet each other not because we have a grudge in need of a resolution. We greet because we are modelling Jesus Christ. It is our belief that in acting out as Jesus did eons before, we become channels in bringing His peace to others. 

Interestingly enough, for most people, the greetings of peace become self-fulfilling prophecies. But that's something for another post.

The second prerequisite has more meat though. Often times, through force of habit, we greet each other sans the sincerity of the act. Too often, the greeting becomes mechanical and obligatory. The life is drained away by routine and familiarity. 

I do not have an easy answer for this. But one way I can respond is by becoming more authentic in doing the greeting regardless if the recipient is a stranger, a friend, or a family member.

The Lord's peace be with you.

Faith In The Era Of Doubt

The Gospel today, about Doubting Thomas (John 20: 19-31), prompted me to ask: why did God became man at such a time? Why didn't he choose this age instead to come down to earth?

By living in this century, Jesus would have made it easier for us to believe in Him and His Resurrection: we're talking about hundreds of pictures and videos from smart phones and paparazzi documenting His every move, His every word. With the current technology, we would have been able to amass literally millions of reference material on Him and His teaching instead of the measly four Gospels we have now. In short, it would have been easier to believe in Jesus, fully alive, fully human and divine.

Instead, He was born in a small desert nation ruled then by the Roman empire. He lived in a time full of superstition and crude beliefs, when 'documentation", as we know it now, was virtually non-existent. 

Some historians nowadays question the historicity of Jesus Christ. Some hypothesize that He did not exist at all. Some claim that He was in fact an amalgam of several influential thinkers. In both schools of thought, Jesus Christ is an illusion. As to why has the belief in such a questionable figure of history persisted over the centuries points to nothing else but the intractability of the Jesus myth.

But yet we are here: believing in the Risen Lord with a fervor that defies logic and reason. 

Sir Ivan, a former colleague, shared a story about the Jesuits during one of our sales trips. The conversation was about my mother's comment on the Society of Jesus. She was mesmerized how such men, immensely gifted intellectually, did not see any discord between their faith in God and in science. Sir Ivan promptly replied that, perhaps, this is so because the Jesuits have seen and experienced God Himself; any other proof was rendered moot.

Maybe, it is only fitting that Jesus lived and died in the context that He was in: a forgettable nation in what should be an insignificant era of human history, a time when pictures, videos, or even news have yet to be invented.

It is only in this context that the phrase 'leap of faith' can ever become genuine. Without any 'evidence' of Jesus, our transition from non-belief to belief becomes all the more powerful and life-changing. Without 'evidence', ironically, God becomes more evident in the way He touches us. Like the Jesuits, we believe even more that Jesus is alive because we have seen and experienced Him. We have felt Him move us and change us deep within.

This is perhaps the paradox of His Resurrection today: that in His physical absence, He makes His presence all the more felt. 

Answering Islam

Back in my BPI years, a colleague, Alex, introduced me to this website, Answering Islam. She had a relationship back then with a Muslim guy who loved to argue against the tenets of Christianity. The website was her primary resource when researching for ways to counter some of the more ridiculous claims by the guy.

I recently stumbled across the website again when I was watching the news about ISIS' Japanese hostages. Feeling negative, I remembered this site and pored through the more current articles about Islam. 

To be honest, I was motivated to visit this site because I wanted to know why this religion is repeatedly becoming a springboard for men to become anarchists, murderers, rapists, pillagers, and robbers. In other words, I wanted to know why Islam was the root cause of so much evil today.

Instead, what I got was an affirmation of my religion and the Christian faith. 

True, Christianity has its own share of sins throughout the course of history. But the one thing that has kept the church guided and in constant course correction is the enduring example of Jesus Christ. Despite our many faults and shortcomings, Christians across centuries have nevertheless sought to follow the teaching of Jesus Christ to love God and neighbor.

Love is for Christianity what submission is for Muslims. And amidst the violence wrought by radical Muslims across the world, Love, not apathy nor hate, is how we will answer them in the end.

Mamasapano

I know it isn't the right time to talk about this.

But it's so hard resisting the itch. I'm a Mindanaoan. I have three cousins who are policemen. During college, I have read the books Under The Crescent Moon, In The Presence of My Enemies, and countless essays about the Moro insurgency.

Now, I feel angry, betrayed, hopeless. But the worse feeling is reading the news, gulping, and thinking: "It's happening again. The cycle won't stop. People just keep killing and saying the wrong things."

I'm going to write about this incident in length at some other time. Right now, I have to pause and wait for the results of the investigation.

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

- Laurence J. Peter 

Execution

Good plan. Better execution. Excellent results.

After three weeks, I can finally go full blast and put the sales plan into action. 

This is Year 2 in my current company. And I'm excited. Last year, the General Manager visited us and gave us a lot of autonomy on what we can do to make our business unit grow.

His words were manna from heaven and I've been busy thinking about what we can do better. 

Here's hoping things go according to plan. 

We really need many more wins here in Davao. 

2015 Personal Learning Goals

1) Learn how to cook

2) Learn to play the guitar (again)

3) Get back to playing basketball

4) Learn Python

"Single"

A fellow brother in my Lingkod community shared to me one conversation he had with his mom last month. Aware of his mother's expectations, he told her that he wasn't pursuing anyone for 2015 so he could focus more on his service.

His sharing brought back home how we've misconstrued the label "single". 

For many, being single is akin to a burden. For men, it carries the unpleasant connotation that either the guy's advances are always rejected or he's torpe, unwilling to make the first move. For girls, the lack of a boyfriend may mean she's undesirable.

Needless to say, many of us like to avoid this situation and likewise treat others in this predicament with sympathy.

Kawawa ka naman. 

Tara, hanap tayo ng babae sa tabi-tabi...

Pag-laag pud panagsa 'day para ma-expose ka.

Tabangan nato si ku-an mangita'g uyab beh.

"Kung sino pa yung gwapo't maganda, sila pa yung single." - Bob Ong

Somehow, along the way, we lose sight of how much a blessing it is to be single. I don't mean the common benefits such as less expenses, less heartaches, or less headaches. But the blessing here is this: by being single, we are blessed to love less so we can love more.

What does the paradox mean? First, by having no boyfriend or girlfriend, we're able to care for more people. By not balancing our priorities with an exclusive relationship, we can distribute more of our resources - our time, money, emotional stamina, and effort - across many. We can build better relations with our siblings, parents, or relatives. We can spend more time with our friends. We can give back a lot more to our community.

Second, being single means an opportunity to love ourselves better. It's a good excuse to do some introspection, be more self-aware, and become better persons for it. 

Third, being single means we're more free to know and love our God more. Without the necessary distractions of a significant other, the state of single-hood is an opportunity to deepen our spirituality, hone our prayer habits, and increase our faith. 

Again, by loving less, we're able to love more.

The surprising thing is that the time when we're single actually prepares us to be better committed partners in the future. All it takes is a change in mindset and to recognize that being single is a gift in its own right.

The Wise Men

I think I should share something from last Sunday's gospel.

The gospel last January 4, 2015, during the Epiphany of the Lord, was taken from the Book of Matthew 2:1-12. It tells the story of the wise men who came and paid homage to Jesus Christ, the infant. 

Finding Jesus across miles and miles of desert by following a "star" is nothing short of a miracle. But that's not what I want to emphasize.

What I want to point out are three characteristics that can be gleaned from the wise men.

First, they had faith. They believed in the eventual success of their journey despite the almost insurmountable obstacles ahead. 

Second, they had diligence. Decades of poring over a foreign nation's literature and messianic texts prepared them for the moment when the sign would arrive. True, they had faith but, more importantly, it was an informed faith built over years of diligent study. 

Third, they looked past appearances. Anyone who saw Jesus Christ in a manger would be right to assume the child wasn't in any way royalty let alone a king. But the wise men knew deep inside their hearts that this child was the one they we're looking for.

And guess what? They were right. 

Yearend Review: Relationship with God

I end looking back at 2014 by finally examining my most important relationship.

Earlier this year, I wanted to know God more. To do that, I resolved to really strengthen my prayer time and scripture reading. 

I would like to say I was successful but there were a lot of days when I wasn't consistent. There were times when I rushed in reading the scriptures, when I forgot to pray the Examen, when I missed going to mass on a Sunday. In short, there were way too many times that I failed in my goals.

Still, even the half-hearted attempts drew me closer to Him. It's surprising that every time we strive to know Him, we end up knowing ourselves even more; awareness of God begets awareness of self. In my case, striving to pray consistently has brought some newly found changes in me. I think and I feel that I've become more patient, more loving, perhaps more understanding. 

Again, the challenge for next year is consistency. How do I strengthen these habits? What are the ways that I can be more in tune with God? How do I recover faster from setbacks and sins?

To cap this post, someone shared to me (I don't remember who) his perspective of the Beatific vision:

The Beatific vision, as a background, is defined in the Catholic Encyclopedia as "the immediate knowledge of God which the angelic spirits and the souls of the just enjoy in Heaven. It is called "vision" to distinguish it from the mediate knowledge of God which the human mind may attain in the present life. And since in beholding God face to face the created intelligence finds perfect happiness, the vision is termed "beatific".

For us Christians, the Beatific vision is what we aspire to see. And so, in this life, we strive to become more and more like God. Eventually, we die and when we meet Him face and face, whose face is it we're going to see but ours, this time, made in His splendor and glory? 

That's one more thing to ponder upon. 

Lord, I pray that I'll be your face to the world. Amen. 

Yearend Review: Family

Good news: We have a new member in the family. She's Sophia, my niece.

Bad news: Surprise family debt.

It's just money, some would say. But it also points to a new reality that we have to live with. Our reality now involves the fact that my parents' retirement plans have been compromised, our family's name (yep, our reputation) is no longer as it was, and the family's finances will be bleaker than usual. Still, it's just money.

Admittedly, I've been busy avoiding the brunt of the bad news by being busy in other places, notably in Lingkod. 

Still, when I had my dinner with Bro Mon, Lingkod's national director, he had this to say about family. I shared to him about my desire to leave again the family home (for the third time). He suggested instead that my current situation, staying with my parents, is an opportunity to bring my family closer.

For awhile now, I've observed that all of us have grown old and have grown apart. They say that this trend is inevitable but I beg to differ.

I resolve that, next year, I'll help knit the family back together. As to how, that's something I have to ponder for the meantime.

Yearend Review: Friends

I didn't attend our high school batch reunion last night. I had two excuses: I attended a funeral service and I have to report for work today.

To be honest, I was never interested in the first place and I think that sums up my attitude on people. Thanks to another year of maturity, I finally convinced myself that it's okay to let go of some and hold on to the few that matter. And yesterday, I decided I can get away with not meeting strangers who simply happened to be my high school batch mates.

For the rest of those who are or were a big part of my life, I resolve next year to work harder at maintaining our relationship, however tenuous it may have become. But I can only go so far; if I pull and no one grabs the rope, then that means it's time to let go once more.

Yearend Review: Service

It's been a long time since I've served or volunteered. I made sure that this year, I went back to service.

I give credit to Bro Rommel, a fellow brother in the community, for pushing me to service. Since I didn't know where to start, he gave me the idea to serve the community first, Ang Lingkod Ng Panginoon (ALNP).

So I began my renewed call to service by doing the little errands. First, Bro Jeff and I scouted the venue during the anniversary. Then, during events, I did the little things like cleaning up, doing the arrangements, and so on. During the Christian Life Series (CLS), I was tasked to be an assistant Discussion Group Lead (DGL). Inevitably, with this assignment, I was assigned as the assistant Action Group Lead (AGL). Then, I gave talks during the Lingkod Weekend and the Life in the Spirit Seminar (LSS). Eventually, the year culminated with me being tasked to join the Online Evangelization team of the ALNP-Davao branch. Throughout the year, I also had a privilege to join feeding programs organized by the brothers.

Looking back, when I said yes, God also qualified that yes by giving me a lot of opportunities to serve Him. To be honest, there were times when I felt overwhelmed. But He, time and again, never failed to give me the necessary provisions that I needed to do my work.

To close, during one of our meetings in our Action Group (AG), one brother remarked that most of our service was confined only to the community. In that case, what about the people who need us outside the community?

Back then (and probably even now), I was tempted to ask him if he is serving.  But it was a valid observation nonetheless. My take is that each of us is obviously called to service. Yet, despite the call, we also have to start with the places we are familiar with.

In my case, the ideal starting point was the community and how we can help each other become better Christians. Later on, my level of service and commitment may evolve to such an extent that I have to venture outside to serve. But the fact still remains that, at least, I started serving. At least, this year, I decided to say yes.

Yearend Review: Career

This year reminded me of how great God's plans are. I bear witness to the cliche "Everything happens for a reason" and I am humbled that, despite the many moments of doubt and anxiety, He saw me fit to place me where I am now.

Palang, a former colleague, shared to me the favorite question that her boss would ask the newbies. The question was "Nakikita mo ba ang sarili mo sa trabaho mo?" It was a loaded question and it was something that I threw at people and also to myself.

"Nakikita ko ba ang sarili ko sa trabaho ko?" Now, I can finally say yes. 

Yearend Review: Finances

With a new job came a salary bump. Of course, with the increase in salary came a host of additional expenses. For the third time, I started installment payments on a life insurance policy (thanks Bro Rommel!). I also purchased a new laptop and renewed my phone plan for another two years. I volunteered to help out in the payment of a big family debt. My expenses skyrocketed along with my increased participation in my community's activities. Also, I shelled out money initially in almost all of my sales trips this year.

But, over all, my financial prognosis is good. I end the year with no debt on my credit card or anywhere else. I manage to save small sums of money for my favorite investment vehicles. I did set up a budget way back January and, though I've strayed every month, my deficits were manageable.

I didn't however start installment payments on a property I paid reservation for. In fact, I abandoned the purchase since I couldn't afford it in the light of new payables (e.g. "family debt"). Still, the setback was an opportunity to give more through charity.

For next year, I resolve to be more fiscally responsible. I aim to reduce even further my expenses and to stick to my budget for once. I also plan to give more.

One other thing I resolve to do next year is to hustle. Since I'm not going to go back to law school anytime soon, I intend to start again another business next year. I plan to be more serious with my real estate brokerage practice. Mervin and I are going to discuss in detail how to go about launching the market research agency we've been talking about. I feel that another little side project is in order.

Over all this, I still pray not only for a bigger capacity to give but also for a generous heart to go with the blessings. I'm hoping things pan out as planned.

Yearend Review: Physical

So I end this year with a noticeable gain in girth and darker rings around my eyes.

The bigger love handles I credit to my lack of regular exercise because I was busy with a lot of extracurricular activities. The rings beneath my eyes I credit to the many nights I slept past midnight. 

But the one thing going for me though is that my acne receded (yehey!) this year. There are still occasional breakouts but not as severe as before. 

I promised early this year to hit the gym more often. I wanted to bulk up, put on more muscle, but I missed out on way too many gym weekends this year. 

Belatedly, I tried to compensate by incorporating morning stretches and exercises in my routine. But the problem was still the lack of consistency.

Overall, I'm not satisfied about how I maintained my physique but I'm still glad I took on the necessary first steps. 

For next year, I resolve to be more consistent in going to the gym, in running, and doing my morning routines. I also intend to guard more zealously my bedtime and really make sleep a bigger priority.

Also, for the first time, I'm regulating my diet. I'm fortunate that I'm not yet hypertensive but I want to make sure that won't happen. Right now, I'm limiting my rice intake, cutting off on soda drinks, and minimizing sweet treats. For next year, I'm incorporating at least one vegetable viand per day and a fruit.  

Cheers.