"Single"

A fellow brother in my Lingkod community shared to me one conversation he had with his mom last month. Aware of his mother's expectations, he told her that he wasn't pursuing anyone for 2015 so he could focus more on his service.

His sharing brought back home how we've misconstrued the label "single". 

For many, being single is akin to a burden. For men, it carries the unpleasant connotation that either the guy's advances are always rejected or he's torpe, unwilling to make the first move. For girls, the lack of a boyfriend may mean she's undesirable.

Needless to say, many of us like to avoid this situation and likewise treat others in this predicament with sympathy.

Kawawa ka naman. 

Tara, hanap tayo ng babae sa tabi-tabi...

Pag-laag pud panagsa 'day para ma-expose ka.

Tabangan nato si ku-an mangita'g uyab beh.

"Kung sino pa yung gwapo't maganda, sila pa yung single." - Bob Ong

Somehow, along the way, we lose sight of how much a blessing it is to be single. I don't mean the common benefits such as less expenses, less heartaches, or less headaches. But the blessing here is this: by being single, we are blessed to love less so we can love more.

What does the paradox mean? First, by having no boyfriend or girlfriend, we're able to care for more people. By not balancing our priorities with an exclusive relationship, we can distribute more of our resources - our time, money, emotional stamina, and effort - across many. We can build better relations with our siblings, parents, or relatives. We can spend more time with our friends. We can give back a lot more to our community.

Second, being single means an opportunity to love ourselves better. It's a good excuse to do some introspection, be more self-aware, and become better persons for it. 

Third, being single means we're more free to know and love our God more. Without the necessary distractions of a significant other, the state of single-hood is an opportunity to deepen our spirituality, hone our prayer habits, and increase our faith. 

Again, by loving less, we're able to love more.

The surprising thing is that the time when we're single actually prepares us to be better committed partners in the future. All it takes is a change in mindset and to recognize that being single is a gift in its own right.