First Talk

Note to self: Just delivered my first talk.

Two weeks ago, Bro Jepoy tasked me to be the speaker for one of the talks during the Lingkod Weekend. It was about honor and respect and how both applied themselves in our community, Ang Lingkod Ng Panginoon. Was I excited? Well, I dreaded it at first. But was I challenged? Of course, yes.

I was fortunate that the preparation time was considerably long because, during the first few days, I had a hard time grappling with the topic. Added to that difficulty was a personal insecurity: I could speak in straight English, yes, but engaging the audience in banter and keeping the talk light and fun were seemingly insurmountable challenges. For your information, I always thought of myself as the serious guy, capable of lulling everyone to sleep.

But having said yes, there was nothing to do except practice and prepare. I started off with what the sequence of ideas should be, then I went about creating my presentation, and then reading and re-reading and re-reading again the talk outline. Added to that was the daily routine of prayer and scripture reading with a daily dose of "Lord, please help; don't let me screw this up".

I was also fortunate that I had a full day to really think about the talk through and a scheduled dry run with some of the council members. Making use of a holiday, I tried to wrap up my preparations. And, during the evening of that same day, I gave my mock talk to the council. As expected, what I gave that night was not  polished and those present - Sis Adz, Bro Rommel and Jesse - saw that. They gave very valuable inputs and I went home thinking about how to put all their insights into my talk.

On Saturday, I was just mumbling to myself the whole day, trying to get sentences right and looking for the "flow" of my talk. On Sunday morning, I was on the first stages of stage fright (it doesn't go away, does it?) and I was simply praying, "Not I but You."

Thankfully, during the actual talk proper, I somehow just managed to pull it off. There were no gaffes or prolonged gaps and the brothers and sisters - bless them - were very supportive and active.

After the talk, I was unprepared for the commendations given to me. Some commended my diction, eloquence, presence, what have you. Some thought I was a teacher by profession (I was flattered to be honest). All the while, I kept thinking to myself, "Lord, ako ba jud to? Lisod man katuohan."

To end, the exercise of giving a talk gave me a chance to see what I was capable. I'm glad I said yes the first time. But I'm also glad that talk's over and done. Now, I cannot wait for the rest to also have their time under the spotlight. 

To God be the glory.