Strength And Character

Every day, I mention in my prayer that God please help me be a better Christian and, of course, a better person. But I know better.

I ask in my petition that I be stronger, that I be braver. But it's a weak petition, at the most. That's because I know what it takes for someone to possess that kind of indomitable will and character that, in turn, becomes the envy of all men.

A scene in Evan Almighty resonates to what I will try to say. Mrs. Baxter is in a diner with God, masquerading as a fellow customer. God says, " Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other? "

That's what I dread the most. Because for everything that you want to have, God gives you an opportunity to have it, which is definitely not the easy way around. To every person, every inch of personal growth gained comes with its inevitable sidekick: pain. Strength and character are qualities which are not given; they are forged, embedded into a person's identity by sheer fire and adversity. They are forged in the countless encounters in a person's life, particularly those encounters which are inconvenient (euphemistically speaking). Oftentimes, such encounters take various forms: the death of a beloved friend or a family member, financial difficulty, conflicts, or bad luck, none of which are remotely nice.

So that's my dilemma. I pray for strength; I pray for character. But at the same I am afraid of the crucible I have to endure to get what I asked and prayed for.