Osama Bin Laden

Sharing some stuff from the book Zingers, Quips, and One-liners edited by Geoff Tiballs:

What we know about Osama Bin Laden is this: he's worth $300 million, he has five wives, and twenty six kids - and he hates Americans for their 'excessive' lifestyle.

David Letterman

It was reported today that Osama Bin Laden has fifty brothers and sisters, which absolutely shocked me because I had no idea he was Catholic.

Conan O'Brien

With Osama dead, is the world a safer place? Probably not. But at least the rest of the world can move on, finally. Osama Bin Laden is now part of history.

Hayop Ka, Mikey Bustos!

I'm really a fan of this man's work. That's why it's probably a good idea not to say anything and just let this guy make you laugh out loud. Enough said.

Check out Mikey Bustos' videos in Youtube and don't forget to subscribe to his channel.

Trust me, you won't regret it.

Clearing Period

A client showed me the other side of the 3-day clearing period and why this can be treated as a benefit rather than as an inconvenience to some.

For those not really familiar with the whole process, a deposited check is "cleared" only after 3 banking days, usually. If you were the supplier and a client gave you a check and you deposited it today, you'll expect the proceeds of that check to be credited to your account only after 3 banking days. For you, it's a nuisance since you'd have to wait to be paid. 

And that's exactly what you want, if you were the client of the supplier. First, you get a 3-day window to make sure you've funded that check. Another, and this is the more crucial part, you can still get back at the supplier if ever he comes up short. That's because you haven't actually paid him yet although he's deposited your check.

Say, for instance, the materials you ordered were substandard or not at par with what you expect. You can still complain about this and can allow the check to bounce if you're not happy (and if you're willing to shoulder the penalties associated with this). That's a pretty powerful benefit.

A Pinoy "Improv Everywhere"?

Lately, I've been thinking about copying the Improv Everywhere concept to the Filipino setting.

Wikipedia defines Improv Everywhere as a New York-based performance art group, which carries out "pranks" a la "Wow Mali" style (minus the overkill). A couple of ideas I have in mind:

Idea 1: A video featuring a street gang intent in wreaking havoc. Their mission? To teach some citizens a lesson. Their victims? Everyone who pees in public. Their modus operandi? Hit and run. While riding a motorbike, gang members throw ice water at men peeing in public.

Idea 2: A spoof on the Axe ad machine. A poster featuring an Axe product that is too effective. The poster features a tricycle driver (the Axe user) who had too much of a good thing. He is looking blankly forward as he is being harassed and groped by his male passengers, burly biker men who unfortunately go gaga after a whiff of the driver's cologne.

Idea 3: A documentary of the country's first-ever Mano Po lane. It features the opening of Davao City's "Respect for the Elders" lane, a specially marked sidewalk in C.M. Recto, where volunteers have lined up and are putting strangers' hands against their foreheads in a show of respect. The lane, as the script would go, is aimed at revitalizing the Dabawenyo's respect for elders.

Idea 4: A video featuring a haunted jeep. An unwary passenger is forced to ride a jeep chock-full of other passengers wearing aswang costumes (and other Halloween paraphernalia). It's going to be a riot as the "victim" begins to realize he is all alone during the long, long trip to Calinan.

Salamat Sa Modess

I'm not ashamed of what I'm going to share. Looking back, I can almost believe that it was Divine Providence that made me stuff a pack of Modess napkins in my backpack that fateful Wednesday night.

If you've read my past post about my Apo climb, I mentioned that I suffered from chaffed skin during our ascent. My inner thighs were becoming sore because of constant friction with my groin. I could make some conjectures regarding my condition then: I wore the wrong kind of underwear; my cycling shorts trapped a lot of moisture down there; or it was simply a case of bad luck. 

The bottom line was that I was in agony during our climb. My inner thighs were protesting with every stride, with every step. At one moment, I thought I might be walking home with blood dripping between my legs.

I tried self-medication. I plastered band-aids during the morning of Day 2 and again during our brief stay in Campsite 2. These didn't work. The band-aids weren't adhesive enough and simply fell off.

Then, the eureka moment. We were now at the peak and I was busy inside our tent, rummaging through the items in my bag, hoping for a remedy. I did pack a Modess pack, didn't I? I remember thinking of packing one just for the sake of it. Perhaps, a lady we might come across might be suffering from the monthly malady and would appreciate receiving something from us (On hindsight, I don't think any sane woman would climb Apo knowing her period is around the corner).

So I got one pad and was instantly fascinated at it. So this is what it looked like. The pad boasted a neat feature: adhesive strips on its sides, which was probably intended to make the pad stick to the panties. I began placing the pads inside out, one for each thigh, with the absorbent portion exposed to grab any moisture from my wet pants. 

The next morning, I knew I did the right thing. Walking was a breeze and I remember climbing down to Lake Venado, leaping across the grass. 

Salamat sa Modess, ika nga.