Introduction to Finality

This post's title is also the title of Community's final Season 3 episode. At the time the episode was shown, there was uncertainty whether Community would continue on to Season 4 or not.

For me, the title is good word play (similar to the title of Bones' final Season 5 episode: The Beginning in the End). It's also suiting that 'Introduction to Finality' be the title of the last post of this blog.

Before you get sentimental, don't. I'm just moving out to another address. I'm leaving Blogger for Wordpress because of the following reasons: fear of obsolescence and a need to begin again.

First, I am justifiably concerned at what other writers are writing about Blogger: the lack of development in the platform and the limited flexibility it offers. Wordpress seems to offer a vastly improved option, something that I cannot wait to experience.

Second, I need to begin again. For the past year, there's been a lot of growth and personal development. Unfortunately, I've either lacked the time to write about it or the effort to put it into writing. I believe (and I hope) that, with this change, I can get back to writing again.

By the way, I just came up with a third reason: I want to restart because there is that gnawing fact that I have outgrown this blog. Reading my posts now point to a person I have a hard time identifying. 

Although this blog will always be a part of me, it's time to share another side of the story, a side which would fare better in a new setting. 

I'd like to end this post with an analogy on butterflies and caterpillars but that might appear too cheesy. So I'll end it instead with an invitation.

If you want to know what my new blog is all about, I'll share it in my new address. See you there.

The Marriage Prayer

My father used to say that the best way to love your children is to love their mother.

That's sound advice. But what's also the best way to love your wife?

The song "The Marriage Prayer" by John Waller provides an answer to that:

The message rings true of what the Church teaches: that the foundation of a good and joyful marriage is a strong and deep relationship with God.

Even before the word "Third Party" became notorious, the Church has taught that a marriage must resemble the Holy Trinity. Whereas, the Trinity consists of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, so too must marriages consist of the husband, the wife, and God.

All too often, this perspective of marriage is overshadowed by the world's misconceptions. For most of us, drawn by the romantic notions of pop culture and media, we merely conclude that the key to a lasting marriage is simple: we only have to love each other with whatever we've got for the rest of our lives.

But such a naive formula negates one aspect of all marriages: humans aren't perfect. We make mistakes. We take our spouses for granted. We get angry and say hurtful words. We fail time and again to love. Over time, such lapses accumulate, leading to indifference, separation, or annulment.

It is after due consideration of our limitations to love that we find the presence of God necessary. He is no longer a cumbersome artifice on the side but the living, breathing soul of every Christian marriage. He becomes a counterbalance to our imperfections, a standard to follow and adhere, and a constant amidst the whirlwind of emotions.

It is when things go rough, when your spouse becomes "unlovable", that the need to love God becomes more eminent. A man who loves God strives to become perfect as his Father (Matthew 5:48). This he does even if perfection means looking past the Godzilla that is his wife and loving her as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25). Similarly, a woman who loves God strives to abide by His Word even if such obedience means loving the biggest jerk on the planet.

For Christians, loving is an act of the will and this implies the ability to still love in spite of the feelings or emotions of the moment. It is only when we understand how much God loves us, despite our shortcomings, that we can love like Him. Then, it is only when we can love like Him that we can love our spouses for a lifetime.

Restart

“Recreate your life, always, always. Remove the stones, plant rose bushes and make sweets. Begin again.” - Cora Coralina

And so it is with this blog. 

Glancing at the number of posts for the past several months, I obviously took a long vacation from writing. I always took as my excuse the lack of time and the many things that demanded my attention. That's a fancier way of saying "I'm busy" but it was the truth.

Lately though, I've realized that the excuse was running hollow. Why, if I didn't have time, did I still spend my nights browsing the internet for several hours? Even with that alone, there was a disconnect between what I was saying and how I was acting.

It dawned on me that my premature 'death' as a blogger stemmed not from a busier life but from a lack of commitment. Moreover, I lacked commitment because I haven't found a reason yet why I should keep on writing.

Why do I write? 

And, more importantly, why must I continue writing?

Thankfully, my hiatus has brought me snippets of the answer. One is that I have to begin looking at blogging in a different light. Before, it was a hobby. Now, I have to see it as a mission. Before, it was a vehicle out of boredom. Now, it is a vehicle to influence. Before, it was simply to pass the time. Now, it is something that should have its time.

It's too early to say I'm back for real. But I'm deciding now that this blog is worthy of my utmost attention.

Growing Old Together

No introduction needed.

For couples getting married, you should watch this. 

Being The Nice Guy

"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." -  Thumper

This line is from the movie Bambi and practicing it takes a lot of wisdom and discipline. 

For me, learning this lesson involved a lot of burned bridges, regret, and pain. Even though I already covered this quote in a post some time ago, there were still instances when I forgot this quote in the heat of the moment and I paid for it dearly.

Still, I can honestly say there has been progress since then. I don't text angry messages any more, choosing to talk to the person directly before choosing to rage out. I now automatically think about the context why someone did this or that. I withhold reacting until I see the complete picture.

Of course, there are still struggles. I am still judgmental (though the thoughts are now contained in my head). I still harbor unpleasant thoughts and/or feelings like anger, envy, resentments, ridicule, things which I consider as "harassments". Occasionally, something slips but it is always followed by a profuse apology.

Being a nice guy is hard work. But as Thomas Edison would say: "There is no substitute for hard work."